fullygoldy (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
fullygoldy) wrote2007-09-17 08:15 pm
fullygoldy) wrote2007-09-17 08:15 pm
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Books: The Year of Magical Thinking
By Joan Didion
I'd heard of this book before, so when I saw it was one of the few audio books available at our local library, I decided to go for it. Joan Didion (an apparently famous writer) had a really terrible year in 2003-2004. On Dec 30, 2003, her husband of 40 years dropped dead of a massive coronary at the dinner table. They had come home late from visiting their only child in the hospital, an adopted daughter, who had fallen into a coma on Christmas Day (only 5 months after getting married). At the time, the doctors didn't really know what was wrong with her or how to help her get better. Didion had whipped up some food and was bringing it to the table when her husband (another well-known writer, John Gregory Dunne) suddenly stopped speaking. She thought he was making some kind of tasteless joke until he fell over and hit his head on the table on the way down. It was nearly a year before she came to grips with the fact that he had been dead before he hit the floor.
The book chronicles Didion's year of grief, grieving and "insanity" that results from grief. She describes all the heroic measures taken to help her daughter survive (including emergency neurosurgery) during this year. She also interweaves her memories of 40 yrs of marriage to her best friend and favorite colleague. After the first 5 mos of their marriage, they never worked outside of the house, were together basically 24/7, and frequently collaborated. They had a highly improvisational and charmed life. I really enjoyed hearing about California in the late 60s and early 70s because that coincides with my childhood memories. It was fun to recognize and remember sights she was recalling. They had a life that is completely foreign to me, filled with international travel, much time spent in luxury hotel suites, and friends who loan each other their houses all over the world. I can tell you that when I'm facing a financial crisis, I don't ever imagine that packing up and moving to Hawaii for a couple of months will help resolve the problem, but it apparently worked for them.
There were two things that really annoyed me in this memoir. First, from the early 80s, her husband was diagnosed with his major heart problems, and realized this was going to kill him eventually. He was frightened at the time of the diagnosis, and from time to time, more frequently after 2000, he tried to share his fears with Didion, but she wouldn't hear it. Obviously, she couldn't hear it. But I'm still annoyed. This man is her best friend and the love of her life. How could she shut him down like that? Second, after he died, and toward the end of the year she is recounting, she recalled that her daughter used to have nightmares as a child about "the broken man" (death) coming to take her away. She would beg her parents not to let him get her. But she would also say, "if the broken man comes for me, I'm going to hang onto the fence. I'm not going to let him take me!" Didion says of that year, her daughter "held onto the fence, but her father did not." I was so angered by this statement! How could she think he let go of the fence? It's obvious to me that the broken man had to pry John's cold, dead hands off the fence before he could spirit him away. It's so unfair to think this about a guy who cheated death of another 16 years through the miracle of modern medicine.
And finally, the descriptions of the daughter's wedding, and the daughter's tribute to her father at his memorial service were heart-wrenching. "More than one more day." This was how much this family loved each other, always more than one more day. It's just. Gah. More than one more day, indeed.
I recommend this, though it's not an easy read. Also, the excerpts she quotes from hers and Dunne's books makes me want to look up each of them and check out their fictional stuff.
I'd heard of this book before, so when I saw it was one of the few audio books available at our local library, I decided to go for it. Joan Didion (an apparently famous writer) had a really terrible year in 2003-2004. On Dec 30, 2003, her husband of 40 years dropped dead of a massive coronary at the dinner table. They had come home late from visiting their only child in the hospital, an adopted daughter, who had fallen into a coma on Christmas Day (only 5 months after getting married). At the time, the doctors didn't really know what was wrong with her or how to help her get better. Didion had whipped up some food and was bringing it to the table when her husband (another well-known writer, John Gregory Dunne) suddenly stopped speaking. She thought he was making some kind of tasteless joke until he fell over and hit his head on the table on the way down. It was nearly a year before she came to grips with the fact that he had been dead before he hit the floor.
The book chronicles Didion's year of grief, grieving and "insanity" that results from grief. She describes all the heroic measures taken to help her daughter survive (including emergency neurosurgery) during this year. She also interweaves her memories of 40 yrs of marriage to her best friend and favorite colleague. After the first 5 mos of their marriage, they never worked outside of the house, were together basically 24/7, and frequently collaborated. They had a highly improvisational and charmed life. I really enjoyed hearing about California in the late 60s and early 70s because that coincides with my childhood memories. It was fun to recognize and remember sights she was recalling. They had a life that is completely foreign to me, filled with international travel, much time spent in luxury hotel suites, and friends who loan each other their houses all over the world. I can tell you that when I'm facing a financial crisis, I don't ever imagine that packing up and moving to Hawaii for a couple of months will help resolve the problem, but it apparently worked for them.
There were two things that really annoyed me in this memoir. First, from the early 80s, her husband was diagnosed with his major heart problems, and realized this was going to kill him eventually. He was frightened at the time of the diagnosis, and from time to time, more frequently after 2000, he tried to share his fears with Didion, but she wouldn't hear it. Obviously, she couldn't hear it. But I'm still annoyed. This man is her best friend and the love of her life. How could she shut him down like that? Second, after he died, and toward the end of the year she is recounting, she recalled that her daughter used to have nightmares as a child about "the broken man" (death) coming to take her away. She would beg her parents not to let him get her. But she would also say, "if the broken man comes for me, I'm going to hang onto the fence. I'm not going to let him take me!" Didion says of that year, her daughter "held onto the fence, but her father did not." I was so angered by this statement! How could she think he let go of the fence? It's obvious to me that the broken man had to pry John's cold, dead hands off the fence before he could spirit him away. It's so unfair to think this about a guy who cheated death of another 16 years through the miracle of modern medicine.
And finally, the descriptions of the daughter's wedding, and the daughter's tribute to her father at his memorial service were heart-wrenching. "More than one more day." This was how much this family loved each other, always more than one more day. It's just. Gah. More than one more day, indeed.
I recommend this, though it's not an easy read. Also, the excerpts she quotes from hers and Dunne's books makes me want to look up each of them and check out their fictional stuff.