fullygoldy (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
fullygoldy) wrote2007-09-16 09:48 pm
fullygoldy) wrote2007-09-16 09:48 pm
RIP Cousin Ken
My cousin (in law) passed away on Friday, after a brief and intense fight with kidney cancer. He is survived by his wife, Dianna, of 30+ years, 9 children and 3 grandchildren. I don't remember him very well, because he and my cousin moved their family (only 2-3 kids at the time) to new york before I was out of high school. What I do remember from back then is that he was kind, gentle, quiet and geeky, but totally able to stand up to the hell-raising (fun-loving) brothers of his new bride. Many years later, when I was a new mother for the first time, They brought the whole family to visit (6 kids then, plus one in the oven) and camped out in our yard in SC.
I have a great picture from that visit - I had just arrived home from work, wearing my favorite yellow dress, and was holding a 3-mo old Mavis on my lap. I'm surrounded by my youngest sister (also departed), a gaggle of cousins, and Ken. Ken is relaxed and smiling his great, wide smile, and this is my enduring mental picture of him. Several years after that, they sent me a snapshot of the entire family on the sofa at their place. Ken and Dianna are in the center, smiling their same great smiles and surrounded by so much love. My new enduring memory of Ken and Dianna will be that they were always surrounded by so much love. I know this tragedy will draw their already tight family even closer together, and I'm glad they have each other, even though they'll feel this hole forever. It's a really sad time for our entire clan.
I really wanted to take my family to the funeral, and had been working on being able to do that, but the end came sooner than any of us had wanted. Short notice air fare was close to $500 each. With the visitation on Tues and the funeral on Wed, I'd have to take at least 3 days, if not more off, plus take the kids out of school. Mavis can't miss that much at this point in time, and I'm just back from taking 2 days off, which would mean losing a full week's wages this month. So, we debated and discussed and finally decided to stay home. It didn't feel right to send only one or two of us to attend. We hope to either visit with them another time, or offer to provide Dianna a trip away from ground zero. In the meantime, I ordered a really beautiful flower arrangement - not too girly - a foliage covered heart with a cascade of yellow roses down one side, to be delivered to the church on Tues. We all voted on it this afternoon. I've got my mom checking into what they might need to get through the week with so many people converging on them - we're thinking a gift card from the local grocery to fill in the gaps between casseroles.
In the meantime, we've got yet another family member to worry about - my first cousin-once-removed, Frank Jr. informed us last Wed or Thurs that his new wife is in the hospital at 27 weeks, trying to stay pregnant for at least another 7, if possible. Ashley's water "broke" with an unexplained pinhole, and baby Kyra is just not ready to join the world. They're in very good hands though, at a highly regarded hospital in NC, so we're all expecting a favorable outcome. I've got a wonderful picture from my sister's wedding of me standing between Junior and Dianna's oldest, Patrick. I babysat for both of them before they ever walked and in the pic both are towering over me. I guess the early babysitting explains their attachment to me as a favorite cousin.
So for the week of September 9-15, 2007, we're down one member of my generation and holding out hope for getting to meet the newest member of the clan, 2 generations down the line.
I have a great picture from that visit - I had just arrived home from work, wearing my favorite yellow dress, and was holding a 3-mo old Mavis on my lap. I'm surrounded by my youngest sister (also departed), a gaggle of cousins, and Ken. Ken is relaxed and smiling his great, wide smile, and this is my enduring mental picture of him. Several years after that, they sent me a snapshot of the entire family on the sofa at their place. Ken and Dianna are in the center, smiling their same great smiles and surrounded by so much love. My new enduring memory of Ken and Dianna will be that they were always surrounded by so much love. I know this tragedy will draw their already tight family even closer together, and I'm glad they have each other, even though they'll feel this hole forever. It's a really sad time for our entire clan.
I really wanted to take my family to the funeral, and had been working on being able to do that, but the end came sooner than any of us had wanted. Short notice air fare was close to $500 each. With the visitation on Tues and the funeral on Wed, I'd have to take at least 3 days, if not more off, plus take the kids out of school. Mavis can't miss that much at this point in time, and I'm just back from taking 2 days off, which would mean losing a full week's wages this month. So, we debated and discussed and finally decided to stay home. It didn't feel right to send only one or two of us to attend. We hope to either visit with them another time, or offer to provide Dianna a trip away from ground zero. In the meantime, I ordered a really beautiful flower arrangement - not too girly - a foliage covered heart with a cascade of yellow roses down one side, to be delivered to the church on Tues. We all voted on it this afternoon. I've got my mom checking into what they might need to get through the week with so many people converging on them - we're thinking a gift card from the local grocery to fill in the gaps between casseroles.
In the meantime, we've got yet another family member to worry about - my first cousin-once-removed, Frank Jr. informed us last Wed or Thurs that his new wife is in the hospital at 27 weeks, trying to stay pregnant for at least another 7, if possible. Ashley's water "broke" with an unexplained pinhole, and baby Kyra is just not ready to join the world. They're in very good hands though, at a highly regarded hospital in NC, so we're all expecting a favorable outcome. I've got a wonderful picture from my sister's wedding of me standing between Junior and Dianna's oldest, Patrick. I babysat for both of them before they ever walked and in the pic both are towering over me. I guess the early babysitting explains their attachment to me as a favorite cousin.
So for the week of September 9-15, 2007, we're down one member of my generation and holding out hope for getting to meet the newest member of the clan, 2 generations down the line.