fullygoldy (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
fullygoldy) wrote2006-05-13 09:32 am
fullygoldy) wrote2006-05-13 09:32 am
Gay Cowboys
Can this be my 2nd "G" word? DH suggested "Goddamn!" as in 'that's what I'd be screaming if Ennis had flipped me over and gone at me the way he does."
Finally got to see Brokeback Mountain with DH last night. He'd wanted to go see it when it was in theatres, but he was neutropenic at the time, so we had to wait. Towards the end, he was shifting around in his seat, and I thought maybe he was kind of bored, because after all, it is a slow-paced thing. On top of that, half of the very little dialogue in the thing is too quiet or mumbled to catch on the first hearing. Ennis barely moves his lips when he speaks! So I was worried about the boredom, and that he wasn't enjoying it. But the startled, appreciative noise he made when Ennis made that discovery in Jack's closet was totally gratifying. Because DH would totally have done that. He's a romantic to the core.
Then it ended, and that is when the magic of Brokeback showed itself. We spent the next 30-45 minutes discussing the film, and it's message, and the state of the world and society. This film makes you think about stuff. It makes you think about big, meaningful, gnarly stuff. You practically forget you even saw any gay sex (such that it was). And while you're thinking about this stuff, you're also compelled to talk about it. I don't know that I've seen anything else in recent memory that has sparked so many meaningful conversations.
That added scene at the end with Alma Jr, still gets me. I can be dry-eyed for the entire thing, until Ennis asks, "does he love you?" and then I lose it. There is a manifesto buried in that question, and I grok it full force in just those 4 words. I wonder what Annie Proulx thinks of the addition?
I'm a little worried though. DH and I have a completely different opinion about the state of things today. He says our society isn't any better off now than it was in 1963, or even 1982. I say we have improved. Yes, there are still pockets of hatred and ignorance, but we've been steadily chipping away at them for generations. Its evolutionary, really. Not this generation, not the next, but after that? I think the difference will be noticeable. I've always felt it is my duty to society to raise my children so that they will be able to raise their children to be better than us. You have to take the long view. Yes, I want better things for my kids than what even I had (and I had plenty). But not all of those things I want for them are things. I admit it. I'm idealistic. I believe we should be shooting for very high goals. I'm an optimist. I believe we'll get there eventually. I'm a pragmatist. If we're going to get there, we've got to lay the groundwork now. I may never reap what I've sown. But someone will. That's enough for me.
Maybe Jack and Ennis's children will live happier lives than their fathers did. Ennis' greatest fear was being killed in a hate crime. Jack didn't have that fear, and last night I think I figured out why. Jack's mother knew. She knew and she loved him anyway, and didn't let his father banish him forever. Ennis never had that stability or protection in his life, but Alma Jr had it in spades. Maybe Ennis didn't have the ability to imagine a life bigger than the one he lived, but somehow, instinctually, he gave his all girls permission to find a bigger life for themselves. In his time and place? That's just HUGE.
Finally got to see Brokeback Mountain with DH last night. He'd wanted to go see it when it was in theatres, but he was neutropenic at the time, so we had to wait. Towards the end, he was shifting around in his seat, and I thought maybe he was kind of bored, because after all, it is a slow-paced thing. On top of that, half of the very little dialogue in the thing is too quiet or mumbled to catch on the first hearing. Ennis barely moves his lips when he speaks! So I was worried about the boredom, and that he wasn't enjoying it. But the startled, appreciative noise he made when Ennis made that discovery in Jack's closet was totally gratifying. Because DH would totally have done that. He's a romantic to the core.
Then it ended, and that is when the magic of Brokeback showed itself. We spent the next 30-45 minutes discussing the film, and it's message, and the state of the world and society. This film makes you think about stuff. It makes you think about big, meaningful, gnarly stuff. You practically forget you even saw any gay sex (such that it was). And while you're thinking about this stuff, you're also compelled to talk about it. I don't know that I've seen anything else in recent memory that has sparked so many meaningful conversations.
That added scene at the end with Alma Jr, still gets me. I can be dry-eyed for the entire thing, until Ennis asks, "does he love you?" and then I lose it. There is a manifesto buried in that question, and I grok it full force in just those 4 words. I wonder what Annie Proulx thinks of the addition?
I'm a little worried though. DH and I have a completely different opinion about the state of things today. He says our society isn't any better off now than it was in 1963, or even 1982. I say we have improved. Yes, there are still pockets of hatred and ignorance, but we've been steadily chipping away at them for generations. Its evolutionary, really. Not this generation, not the next, but after that? I think the difference will be noticeable. I've always felt it is my duty to society to raise my children so that they will be able to raise their children to be better than us. You have to take the long view. Yes, I want better things for my kids than what even I had (and I had plenty). But not all of those things I want for them are things. I admit it. I'm idealistic. I believe we should be shooting for very high goals. I'm an optimist. I believe we'll get there eventually. I'm a pragmatist. If we're going to get there, we've got to lay the groundwork now. I may never reap what I've sown. But someone will. That's enough for me.
Maybe Jack and Ennis's children will live happier lives than their fathers did. Ennis' greatest fear was being killed in a hate crime. Jack didn't have that fear, and last night I think I figured out why. Jack's mother knew. She knew and she loved him anyway, and didn't let his father banish him forever. Ennis never had that stability or protection in his life, but Alma Jr had it in spades. Maybe Ennis didn't have the ability to imagine a life bigger than the one he lived, but somehow, instinctually, he gave his all girls permission to find a bigger life for themselves. In his time and place? That's just HUGE.
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