fullygoldy | Entries tagged with dh

October 2013

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This week is already sucking beyond the telling. And most of the telling is way TMI. Suffice to say, DH has been back to the urology clinic 2 days in a row due to complications, and now he's attempting to fall asleep in bed with a new catheter/bag setup that is supposed to stay in until Monday (6 days). When he came home from the initial surgery, he only tolerated that one for 3.5 days. He's already so uncomfortable (for reasons) that I can't imagine this going well.

Also, he's got 2 new meds, and a proposed treatment plan for a 6-wk course of chemo that he can't undertake until he is fully healed from the previous surgery, and at least 3 follow up appointments next week.

In other news, the boy is attempting to buy a new-to-him car. He needs a co-signer of course, which, I guess I'm okay with, seeing as we co-signed for the girl's school loan.

And one truly good thing:
The girl had her 20 week ultrasound last week, and ta-da! Grandbaby is a boy! He's already tall, thanks to daddy, and everything looks good.

Current Mood: stressed
Current Location: home planet

I won't be at WisCon this year. DH is turning 60 the same weekend and decided to throw himself a big party. Since the first 15 weeks of this year were so tough on him, and he seriously didn't think he was going to make it to this birthday, I couldn't really object to celebrating one more circuit of the sun. Usually I do Wiscon Friday to Sunday and spend Monday with DH. But we're flipping it around this year.

Some good friends offered the use of their farmhouse and land, so we've got a crowd gathering on Saturday afternoon, kegs of homebrew (Porter and Amber), a bluegrass/ newgrass band playing after dinner (Piper Road Spring Band), and an old fashioned "Low Country Boil" for dinner. There will be musical jamming all day, and a bonfire after dark, and people spending the night in tents and such. Sunday will be farm-fresh brunch, cleanup and recovery. It will be fun (even though I'm more of an 80's music gal), but alas, there won't be any fangirls (that I know of) attending.

I'm thinking I might be able to break away for lunch or an afternoon meetup with anyone who is still hanging around on Monday, so if you're up for it, please let me know. I'd be delighted if all I got to do was hang out in the lobby and hug on people who I might not see otherwise.

Current Mood: pleased
Current Location: still earth

Weekend update:
DH went into the hospital for surgery at noonish on Friday. Surgery at 2:30, surgeon consult afterward at 5:00. He was pleased, thinks he removed everything, pathology needs to confirm. If the report is clean, no radiation needed (YAY). 7:30 he's up in his room, and going on toward 12 I finally went home. I'll keep all the TMI details to myself, but sheesh, hospitals are really not designed for preserving dignity. Thank goodness for private rooms with doors.

Saturday morning - took the girl, her maid of honor/best friend/foster sister, and a friend of mine to the Bridal Show. It was our first. Fun and interesting for me, fashion show was a little "meh" except for the end when one of the male models leapt off the stage to propose to his girlfriend. He was in a tux with a red waistcoat, she was in jeans and a t-shirt. I bet she's mad at him now that she's over the shock. Then we went for a sushi lunch. Yum.

Saturday afternoon headed to hospital again, and stayed til 11ish. DH had a weird reaction to the hypertension med, that none of the staff deemed was a reaction. He refused to take it after that. He doesn't normally have high blood pressure. Doesn't it seem reasonable that coming into the hospital for surgery, not eating since Thursday night, being poked and prodded and cut on, not knowing if the cancer is completely gone would all cause enough stress to raise his bp a bit? It would go right back down every time he got a decent amount of sleep or a dose of his anti-anxiety med. No food (feeding tube) for him on Sat even though they started talking about it at 9 in the morning. He's lactose intolerant. They kept wanting to give him Ensure, which he's had reaction to in the past. We'd been warning them about this issue (hospital only stocks Ensure) since the original surgical consult. Did they do anything to prep for it? NO.

Sunday: back to the hospital at 10 for another 12-hr day. Found out that the last pain med he'd requested was on Sat morning. Weird. Since the bone marrow transplant, he's been extremely pain-intolerant. Downright wimpy. So if he says he's not having pain, he's really not having pain. Everyone was very surprised because this is supposed to be a really difficult operation to recover from (for adults). This morning we can see why. He's finally able to open his mouth wide enough to look in there. Looks like something the size of a tennis ball was removed! Anyway, two more consults with the nutritionist finally produced one can of lactose-free protein drink for the feeding tube. It went fine. Then an observant night nurse came up with a cooled cup of coffee to dissolve his daily meds in, and administered that through the tube. Goodbye, headache!

Monday: Took the girl to work, retrieved my laptop from the office - I have to reload a bunch of stuff to get it back to where I like it, lunch, and back to hospital at 12. Where they informed me we could leave "in about an hour." Wow! Way to go on the healing, DH! Except at 4:00 the pharmacy still hadn't figured out how to fill the special liquid version of his immunosuppressant. So we came home and he skipped a dose. He's actually mostly taking care of himself, just asking for minimal support ("can you hand me that blanket?" etc). It's the most independent he's ever been after a hospital stay, so I'm encouraged. I finally went to bed at a reasonable time.

Today - gotta take the girl to work in a few - we still don't know when she'll get her car back from the shop.

Current Mood: hopeful
Current Location: still earth

I don't seem to have a more romantic icon than this one, lol!

Today marks 25 years + 1 day since I woke up on a sunny Friday morning, to the suggestion that we blow off work and head for Gettysburg and a whirlwind tour of the D.C. area. Being young and in love, I said, "Sure!" Somewhere around the NC/VA border, he proposed (again) and I said, "I already said 'yes'." He said, "I mean this weekend. Let's elope!" The rest, as they say, is history. Lots and LOTS of history.

They say this is the Silver Anniversary, but we don't have any silver gifting ideas in mind (that I know of), just a nice dinner at a restaurant we've been meaning to try for years.

This would have been a perfect year to return to the scene though, I hear the cherry blossoms are amazing this year. They were wonderful for our first walk on the mall together, and I've always wanted to repeat that experience.

Current Mood: romantic
Current Location: still earth
Current Music: William Tell Overture

I awoke at 2:20ish in the night to use the bathroom. Upon my return to bed, DH said, "we have an appointment with the financial guy for breakfast at 7:30 tomorrow."

He didn't even ask me if I wanted to meet with the guy before setting it up.
He hasn't been out of bed before 7:00 in I don't know when.
He can set this up, but not make a dentist appointment for his abcessed tooth for what, 3 months and counting?
How much more sleep do you think I got during the night?
Yeah, getting back on track with my daily yoga apparently is not happening this week.

We need to leave the house in 30 minutes and he's not even out of bed.

Current Mood: pissy
Current Location: still earth

The dishes are here! The dishes are here! LOL, I know it's ridiculous to be this happy about 7 white plates, but this means that we now have 12 of everything: Dinner plates, Luncheon plates, Dessert/Bread Plates, Soup plates, Salad bowls, Fruit bowls and small Ramekins. I found plates to match the white Sheffield we already had at Replacements.com. At first I thought I was only going to find 5 plates there, but those were the "perfect condition" plates. They had plenty of slightly imperfect plates for us to order the 7 we wanted, and the total bill with shipping was only $82. The slightly imperfect plates are actually in better condition than our existing plates. Including the teapot and the saki set, I've spent $224 for what feels like a brand new set of all white fine china. Pretty good, huh :) Any other china collected at this point will be funky/weird pieces (although I don't really see a need for egg cups) or colorful serving pieces.

I had to call a co-worker today and the first thing she said to me was "happy almost-welcome to the company" :) then she said, "I'm so glad we're getting another woman in our group." Since she's the Regional guy's right hand person, I'm taking this as a fairly strong indication that it's all over but the paperwork.

My feet are cold. I suppose it's because the building is cold, because the temp is dropping in preparation for the big storm they've been promising us. I dont' mind stormy weather on the weekend because it means I don't have to drag myself out of the house unless I really want to.

This weekend we'll be putting up the christmas decorations, indoors and out, weather permitting. I guess we'll be sorry we didn't do it last weekend if the weather gets bad, but we just weren't ready to switch from autumn to winter yet. Tomorrow will be the day the christmas china comes out of the cupboard. So we'll have had 2 meals on the complete white set before putting it aside for 31 days. That just means I have something to look forward to in Jan! (besides the new job responsibilities and lower insurance premiums)

And DH and I have plans to see a movie together sometime this weekend. The last one we went to alone was Serenity...

LJ's new policies on adult content and needing your age verified are kind of annoying. I'm not sure I'm annoyed enough to quit paying for an upgraded account though. I did enter my birth year as 1900 in protest. I'm old enough to see adult content, and I get to skew all kinds of statistical analyses. That's the best part.

Come on 5:00!!

Current Mood: bored
Current Location: still earth

Last night, DH and I celebrated our 21st anniversary since our first date. WOW. We did our usual thing and went out to dinner. We even went someplace semi-usual for us - Eno Vino has become our default fancy dinner place. We love the atmosphere and the service, and the food is to die for!

So I received an email invitation, informing me that reservations had been made for 7 pm. I went home with plenty of time to change into something nice (longish black skirt over black patent boots & a red blouse), fix my hair and paint my face. DH was also gussied up with a fresh shave and an olive/sage shirt & slacks ensemble (love the monochrome look - it's sophisticated) topped with a black sport coat.  We don't usually go all out on the dressing for dinner, but this was the first anniversary in the past couple of years that we could actually celebrate in the style to which we have become accustomed.

When we arrived at the restaurant we were whisked to our table, where a lovely arrangement of 3 blushing roses were waiting in a vase. It took me a moment to realize that they weren't the restaurant's decoration - no other tables had flowers. The card read "Dinner, $100. Roses, $40. 21 Years of Love & Happiness: PRICELESS." Doesn't he write the best notes?!

On to the food:  (we ordered one of each and shared everything)

Red Wine Flight - 3 oz each of a Beaujolais, Merlot and Syrah. They were all lovely, and the Merlot was a Hogue, so now I have another wine in that family that I'll be wanting on a regular basis.

Soup: Bisque of Cold Water Lobster and King Crab with a Brunoise of Vegetables - so butter & cream laden and luscious I could feel my arteries clogging! Garnished with a split crab leg full of succulent yumminess and a split lobster tail of goodness. The soup base was definitely vegetable - with tomatoes lending the soup an overall pinkness.

Salad: Mixed Field Greens with Kalamata Olives Red Onions, Feta Cheese and Aged Balsamic Vinaigrette. The vinaigrette was almost syrupy and very intense. The salad made a nice counterpoint to the soup as we ordered these to arrive together.

We sipped the Beaujolais with the first course.

Next: we tried to order Grilled Breast of Pheasant with Truffled Fig Risotto, and Chestnut-Honey Jus, but they were out of it, so we substituted Seared Foie Gras, Apple Tart-Tatin, Spanish Sherry Vinegar Reduction, Truffled Greens. OMG!! This was fantastic - the sherry reduction was dark red, almost black and we couldn't stop dipping it up. I still would like the foie gras to be a little crispier and cooked more thoroughly, but the flavor was excellent. The apple tart is a wonderful accompaniment to the foie. I think the greens were more for decoration - I wouldn't have missed them. We sipped the Merlot with this course, and it paired very nicely.

Third: Grilled Double Lamb Chops, Roasted Fingerlings and a Minted Winter Vegetable Ragout. We totally agreed that the lamb could not have been prepared any better than this. The entire dish was excellent, but the lamb was awesome. The perfect outer salty crunch and a tender, succulent middle, hot all the way through and not quite medium. The roasted fingerlings had some blackened edges, and the vegetable ragout consisted of baby carrots, asparagus and zucchini, with shreds of fennel for garnish. All this was served on a long rectangular tray, in a pool of what must have been pan gravy. There was no description, and the jus was not completely thin, so it was finished with a touch of cream or butter. So So Good! And the Syrah, with it's spicy notes was brilliant.

We could have hurt ourselves easily, by ordering another full course, but we decided to settle for dessert:
a warm cinnamon chocolate fondue (in a pot, over a candle) with cubed buttermilk panna cotta (delish!), homemade marshmallows, chunks of strawberries and bananas and blackberries, blueberries and raspberries. I stuck a blackberry in my glass of Prosecco too. In 21 yrs, this was the first time we'd ordered the super romantic chocolate fondue for two. Go figure :) We didn't actually finish all the dessert, which was kind of sad, but we were plenty full of good food and good feeling. Also - solstice buds take note - the fondue is quite generously sized and would split well between 6 ::hint hint:: B tried to roast a marshmallow over the candle, but only managed to darken a corner. Our waitress confessed that she too had tried that trick and had ended up with the marshmallow stuck in the candle holder and burning in flames. LOL

Our conversation for the evening included a lot of reminiscing of that first date and all the subsequent fancy date dinners we've had. We're pretty sure that Eno Vino has been the most consistently wonderful place we've patronized and we look forward to many more special dinners there.

The roses are currently lending their fragrance to our bedroom from their perch on the shelf above the bed. And the girl brought us a bouquet of flowers too - all autumnal colors of roses, lilies and suchlike. They're in the dining room. It was a truly wonderful celebration of "The Long Run."

Current Location: home planet
Current Music: DH's sleep noises

In the past week, we've picked up a few things that are probably minor, but fill me with glee:

Last Saturday, DH and I were introduced to a variety of dominoes called "chicken tracks" and had so much fun playing it that on Sunday when we encountered double-12 dominoes in Farm & Fleet, we had to get them. We've since played twice, with Rupert joining us late in the evening last night. The game is good clean fun and time together just laughing and joking and it totally blocks out all the day-to-day drama we have to deal with. So yay for new games.

Last week, I also purchased high-tech wipers for both vehicles as part of the winterizing process. I've never spent $15/wiper before, so I'm hoping these things live up to their press (and last a whole year).

Yesterday, I was on my way back from the Waukesha office when I decided to pull into the outlet mall in Johnson Creek. We've recently decided on a plan for updating our dishes, since we are currently using two partial sets for dining. That's okay when just the 4 of us are present, but when we have 8-10 at the table, as we so frequently do, I can't get a matched set going.

( backstory )

So what did I buy? I got 12 fruit bowls. I know it sounds dumb, but they're a really useful size - great for ice cream or pudding or a small, drippy serving of something at dinner. They're white 'fine china' and have a cool octagonal shape on the bottom that transitions to a circle at the lip. They have 2 levels, with the lower half tapering, making them really easy to stack. And, they were $2.79 ea before the extra discount.

In addition, I picked up the teapot from the same pattern for $10.50! I love teapots, but I haven't collected very many. Last winter, the whole family got into drinking tea in the afternoon or evening, so it seemed like a good way to encourage the return of that trend. Also, it puts to good use the new tea kettle we picked up from Sam's on Saturday :) It turns out that the new kettle and the new pot are extremely well-matched in size.

So last night, while passing out halloween candy to the very few visitors, we drank a pot of licorice spice tea and played dominoes. It was a lovely evening. And it turns out that DH and I are extremely well-matched in chicken tracks too - we're only 2 points apart!

Current Mood: pleased
Current Location: still earth

Yesterday, in the middle of prep for Foie Fest,

barley52said, "Oh I forgot to tell you, that table saw you wanted dropped in price again."
"What?"
"Yeah, it's down to $87."
"Alright. Get in the car."
::barley laughs::
"I said, get in the car!' You think I'm kidding, but I'm not."

You see, way back in the early days of 2007, Menard's had a 10" table saw on display that was about $169. It comes with its own stand, and 5000 rpms. It has the same horsepower as the Porter Cable model, and I liked the deck better, plus, its a 13 amp draw instead of a 15. This means I can plug it into any outlet in my house, instead of having to search for one of the few 20 amp circuits, none of which are in my garage or workshop.

However, I really only have one project on my plate that requires a table saw, so I didn't think that the bargain price of $169 could quite be justified. I passed on by. And I kept passing on by, every time I set foot in Menard's. Passing by and petting said table saw, giving it longing glances and heartfelt sighs just became another part of my hardware store routine. Then the price dropped to about $129. Well. That was something to consider. OTOH, I do have a boy living in my house who likes to "borrow" things that don't belong to him without asking first. He tends to lose or break these things. When I seriously considered bringing home a table saw, I realized that I was also going to have to accept the probability that the boy would soon be missing some fingers.

Once again, I passed up the saw. I can always just rent a table saw when I finally get off my butt and finish the paneling in the kitchen. Instead, I bought DH a shiny red 6-drawer locking tool chest. Now his portable tools are safe from the boy. At the same time, we decided to splurge on a new canvas gazebo for the outdoor table. The last one was yanked from the ground and flung against the house during a thunderstorm. Needless to say, it was no longer recognizable as a gazebo at that point. DH is not allowed to request shiny new toys for at least 6 months.

Sometime in the past two weeks, DH noticed the saw was down to $119. It's so very tempting at that price. DH mentioned it to our neighbor who said something like, shoot, at that price, I should buy it, and then you can borrow it when you need it. Well, he didn't get around to buying it, we didn't get around to renting and then, another price drop.

Voila! Goldy has a shiny new table saw in the garage. It's still in the box. We haven't decided if we should store it here or at the neighbor's though. On the way to pick it up, I was talking to my mom, and for once she didn't immediately pooh-pooh my acquisition choices. She just said, "Please be careful. You realize you ARE genetically predisposed toward losing fingers to a table saw." Yes. I know. She's right. At least two cousins, a grandfather, an uncle have all lost appendages to power tools. So, I'll be careful. But I'm a happy happy goldy today!

Current Location: planet earth

Sheesh! I don't know if I'll be able to keep up with DH if he stays on prednisone much longer.

Monday, he did more than he's done in a whole week in more than a year, lol.

Trip to hardware store, bought paint rollers & a heat controller for his new mash tun.
Conversation with the boy's teaching team leader
Cleaned the entry hall/stair well and primed stair well for 2-yr old painting project
Made dinner - asian extravaganza
Conversation with the boy about school concerns
Walked the dog *and* make a new BFF - the guy at the other end of the block apparently has 9 canoes and 2 rowboats in his garage and basement. He restores antique boats! He hunts! He likes our dog!
Broke and cleaned up a 3 gallon carboy in the basement
Brewed 5 gallons of mead

Saturday and Sunday included lots of yard work, grilling, speaking to the police about the recent break in at our house, farmer's market, house cleaning, baking croissants from scratch, etc.

I feel like a lump in comparison.

Current Location: still earth
Current Music: tv

Luzon Jumilla is a spanish wine I discovered last summer. I bought it based on the description of "exploding gobs of fruit." I loved the wine - it was a huge red at a tiny price ($8.50-9.99/bottle). I pimped it to EVERYONE. And then, poof! it was gone. Couldn't find it anywhere, and woe was me.

Well, I'm kind of stubborn about stuff, so every time I was in Woodmans, I'd check the spanish aisle JIC. A couple of weeks ago, I hit paydirt. The beautiful black label with the silver gray font was back. Not only that, it's priced $7.49/bottle. Of course I picked up two. I was sorely tempted to get a case, but thought I should confer with DH before committing.

DH suggested I should have got a case (and the resulting discount) when I found it, and I said "maybe next time then." I'm glad we're on the same page even though he can't partake right now.

So yesterday was our 20th anniversary. The traditional gift is china, and the modern is platinum. Who knew? This was stumping me big time. Finally, I figured out that Mikasa makes crystal rimmed in platinum, so I figured it would be a good gift. If you know us, you know we've already got more barware than anyone needs. It's like

bzdchris's cookbooks - it's a sickness, a hobby and something useful all wrapped up in one! Of course, I didn't figure any of this out in enough time to order crystal, so I was running around town Tuesday night looking for someone to sell me some. When it comes to fine crystal folks, it's not much of a cash-and-carry world. In the process, I discovered the pattern Debut Platinum by Lenox. This pattern is very similar to the pattern of the beautiful glasses we received as a 10th anniversary gift, so of course there was no other acceptable pattern for me. Luckily, Boston Store had 2 white wine glasses (on sale even) that I could take with me. Score! I can always order more later.

I stayed home Wednesday, because DH was feeling pretty puny, and it was our anniversary, and everything I'm working on right now is portable. He was too sick to drive himself to get my present, so I drove him to Woodmans. Then he bought me a CASE of Jumilla!! Yippee! Yay! Hooray! That makes 14 beautiful bottles of exploding gobs of fruit - all for me to share with my favorite people. It's going to be a beautiful year.

It damn well better be, because I know for sure that I'm not up for a repeat of the last 20. Yep, there were good years in there, but there was way more than the usual share of stress and strife too. Bankruptcy, lawsuits, custody battles, MDS, rotator cuff, recalcitrant step and not-step kids, jobs/careers in flux, house and car disasters, southern neighborhood politics - all this and more. Is it any wonder I've spent the week swinging between tears and rage? Welcome to your midlife crisis, goldy. If it's not a beautiful year, then at least you've got enough wine to stay anesthetized through it.

Current Location: still earth
Current Music: news

Mavis's wonderful adventures in MLW.
Wicked - the audiobook (unabridged) - what a weird-ass book.
Found! Luzon Jumilla back on the shelves at Woodmans!
It's not Pneumonia, but it still required 2 trips to the Dr. this week.
The care and feeding of a 14-yr old vegetarian.
Hot showers, Yay!
The new PM, the new project, and loads of work to do.
Kitschy salt & pepper set (photo)
Crocuses!

Current Location: third rock
Current Music: news

Looking back, I see that I have failed to mention that Rupert is now the tallest person living in our house. He is also the youngest person. Somehow, that doesn't seem fair. OTOH, I have no problem calling him into the kitchen to reach stuff for me whenever I need it.

Rupert and Mavis are going off to do teen stuff after school today, so after DH & I do the weekly Dr checkup at 5:00 (what Dr schedules appts at 5 pm on a Friday?), we can go off and do something like a normal adult couple. But we'll probably just end up at the Dane again, LOL.

I know a lot of people are wondering where the heck winter is, but this is totally the type of winter I can deal with. I like not having to wear 3 layers of clothes. It's too bad we didn't get this winter last year. It would have totally saved my library project schedule.

The PM I'm helping down in Arlington Heights called me this morning at 6:50! He needed a schedule update for a 9:00 meeting. However, I do get to duck out of work at 3 for the aforementioned appt.

Took Ruby to the shop on Wed afternoon for her 105k miles maintenance. It turns out that the high-pitched squealing noise was the rear brakes after all. So, all the normal maintenance (except the recommended timing belt replacement) plus the rear brake pads & newly machined rotors for $251. In another couple of months, I might go ahead and let them do the timing belt, but first I'll check the records I have to see if it has ever been replaced before.

Next week, I'll spend 2.5 days down in Arlington Heights trying to help out on 3 different projects. Hopefully shortly after that, I'll get to start up one of my own - as Owner Rep for the Houston County Courthouse in MN (right across the river from LaCrosse). I am so ready to be fully involved in a project again. The post mortem I'm doing isn't as complete as I thought - I found out yesterday that the PM is still holding onto a good portion of the files, so any conclusions I've drawn so far are likely to be worthless once I get to look at the rest of the stuff. ::sigh::

I feel really out of the poly loop. I've quit reading the posts in the yahoo lists I belong to, because the people whose posts I enjoyed most seem to have drifted away. I realize a big part of my disassociation has to do with the issues of the past year. I didn't need to add any drama to the year, but it's the beginning of a new year and I'm looking around, going, "huh. what's next?"

I think I'm ready to verbalize a resolution for 2007 also: I'm going to strengthen my friendships with my women friends. Actually talk to them on the phone and go do stuff with them that doesn't involve all of our partners and children. I realized that the only time I seem to see most of my friends anymore is at parties. I think that's kind of weird.

Well, less than 3 hours left in the workweek :) Maybe this weekend, I'll update my journal theme too. If I'm not too busy undecorating the house.

Current Mood: restless
Current Location: still this planet
Current Music: cube farm

It's nice to be appreciated, and to get recognition for stuff. I've been thanked twice in three days by DH for stuff that has absolutely nothing to do with the events of this year. :)

1) On Friday night, Mavis came home well before curfew and asked if Jubal could spend the night in Rupert's room. His mother had called him on his cell phone and told him not to come home, he was officially disowned. We'd been asleep for an hour already, so instead of jumping up and prying into the poor boy's private life, I just said "yes." DH turned to me and said, "thank you."
"For what?"
"For never introducing that kind of drama into our lives."

(Don't really know what all is going on with Jubal yet, he only spent the one night, but he's eating over here pretty regularly, and he spends a lot of his time just hanging out with our kids. He also helps do chores and still has plans to help me finish the kitchen project, so he's pulling his weight.)

2) On Sunday night, we were watching "That 70's Show" because there was literally nothing else worth watching. Donna was considering threatening to withhold sex from Eric. DH said, "thank you." This time I knew he meant for never using sex as a weapon. I personally just can't grasp the concept of sex as a commodity. I see other people using it that way, and sometimes I even wish I could do it too, but it's not for me. Sex is just something you do because you want to do it, and doing it will be enjoyable. Hmm. Maybe this is why I don't really grok the D/s thing. Maybe the power exchange is too closely tied to a commodity exchange for me.

Current Mood: okay
Current Location: earth
Current Music: AFHV

Wow! today is the 20th anniversary of my first date with barley52. I've never actively done anything for 20 years, except live my life. Yes, I'm more than 20 yrs past school, but that's jsut marking time, not actively doing.

For a synopsis of past accomplishments, you can look here. Those were years 1-19. For year 20, well, all y'all know we've dedicated this year to the Bone Marrow Transplant (and the kitchen). It's been a long road this year, but we've survived it with the help of friends and family.

Here are some things I keep in my memories about November 14, 1986.

-It was a Friday, and I didn't know what I was going to wear, so I left work a bit early to stop by the mall. I went to my favorite non-department store, and ended up buying a colorful silk scarf. I wore the scarf draped around my shoulders that night, the only splash of color on a black, cowel-necked, long-sleeved jumpsuit. I still have that scarf, but I don't wear it anymore - we just play with it sometimes.

-When I was getting dressed, I couldn't remember how tall B was, so I was dithering over the black flats or the black heels. Finally, I chose the heels, because I'm so short, and most of my outfits looked better with heels. I was muttering "fuck him if he can't take a joke" as I put them on. ::g:: When he arrived, I realized the heels put me very close to his height.

-When I opened my front door to let him in, he looked so dear and familiar to me that I very nearly enveloped him in a hug before he crossed the threshhold. I had to take a few steps back into the room and wrap my hands around the edge of the kitchen table to keep from touching him. (We had not yet touched each other).

-He also looked very handsome with his blonde hair and wonderful smile and sparkling green eyes, and the cozy sweater he was wearing. I really just wanted to crawl into his lap and stay there the rest of the evening, but I thought that might seem weird, so I didn't ask ;)

-When we were at his place, doing the tour, we started kissing among his plants (most of which are still with us), and I kid you not, he said, "where have you been all my life?" Honestly, it didn't sound cheesy to me at all, and I have a very low tolerance for lines. I looked into his beautiful eyes and from deep within me, I said, "getting ready."

I was absolutely positively sure about that answer at the time, but I how could I have known? How could we have known what was in store for us? I'm glad I believed I was "ready" then because if I had had an inkling of what was coming, I don't think I would have ever felt ready again. And yet, here we are, facing what comes our way, and saying "bring it" with joined hearts and hands, heads held high. Thank you, HB, for making me brave enough to live this life, and fight this fight. I love you.

Current Mood: nostalgic
Current Location: earth
Current Music: silence

It was a long and productive weekend. Friends from Iowa arrived late Friday afternoon to help me whittle down the to-do list.

( What got done )

It was lovely to have visitors and helpers all weekend, and I really do appreciate all the effort expended. I hope "Buddy" is doing well, and will be taken care of in the morning. Hopefully, the mystery of what happened will be cleared up soon.

Currently, I'm sitting next to DH, and he's not the happiest camper. He's got a fever and chills, but his gut x-ray from earlier in the evening showed nothing to be overly concerned with. They're going to take blood cultures from all 3 of his lines in a few minutes, plus stick his arm. They probably won't change anything much before morning, as he's still on serious antibiotics. But these kinds of things really wear on him, especially after having such optimistic news this morning. It's really all part of the process, but it's hard to remember that when you hurt. We may still get to have him home by Halloween, and that's terrific news except for the fact that I'm not entirely done with the house and haven't done the thorough cleaning yet. ::sigh:: "The trick to getting every thing done is knowing what to leave undone.*"

*I believe that's Eleanor Roosevelt, but I don't guarantee it.

Current Mood: disappointed
Current Location: hospital planet
Current Music: world series

Yay! I'm in a good mood today. I've realized that in the past three weeks, I've done a hell of a lot. Of course, I've had a hell of a lot of help from a long list of friends, so I should amend this to say I've orchestrated a hell of a lot of work recently.

Thanks to Mavis, Rupert, Jubal, Toast, Busman, bzdchris, Jeff, Richie, Barley, lezBpoly, Matt, Elizabeth, Tyler, BIL, cutigers03, Ralph, old_man_summer, Oscar, Kevin, Kent, Laurie, Cal, Paul and Sarah C. I'm still pretty much on schedule with this remodeling project. They've helped get the following done:

Demolition
Mold Remediation
Laminate Floor installation
Cabinet installation
Plumbing repairs
Electrical repairs and rework
Drywall repairs
Drywall finishing
Pantry stocking
Setting up plants in a special "terrarium"
Adding felt feet to all the furniture
Choosing cabinet hardware
Bathroom demolition
Purchasing new stuff for Rupert's bathroom
Yard cleanup
Chimney repair and cleaning

All of this help has enabled me to stay closely in touch with Barley52 throughout his hospitalization as well. I get to spend several hours each day with him, and I get to spend time each day with the kids (although a lot of those times also include working on some of the above).

In the process of accomplishing all these things, I've also had an interesting realization. Most construction work is not really *hard.* All it really takes is technique and proper tools, and some upper body strength. If you haven't got above average upper body strength, you can still do the work, it just takes three times as long to get it done. ::sigh:: that's been the thorn in my side through this - I realize how much longer it's taking me to do *anything* I set out to do. I've come up with some helpful tricks - like making sure I have the absolutely perfect tool for the job as much as possible - to help with the time factor, but still. It irks me that I take so long to do a thing. The really hard jobs in construction are masonry (back breaking), drywall finishing (miserable), and roofing (again with the back breaking, plus hot). Rod busting is another really tough one (setting and tying rebar for concrete). But mostly, if you've got patience and a reasonable knowledge of how-to, just about anybody can do the typical remodeling jobs if they really want to.

Tonight, I'll finish the drywall prep and hopefully set the countertop, but I still have to buy grow lights for the basement too. Tomorrow morning, the HVAC ducts are being cleaned, and I may get the kitchen sink installed. Rupert can help me with that one since he's installed that faucet twice already. Matt will be next door if we screw up. Then, rebuilding Rupert's bathroom is next. After that:

~~Two more cabinets go on the walls~~
Some custom shelves need to be cut and installed
Painting of ~~ceilings~~ and cabinets (~~still have to buy paint~~)
Cutting and installing paneling (a small amount)
Wiring the two floor outlets
Finish installing quarter round at floor edges
~~Add hardware to cabinetry~~
Rearrange the contents of all the cabinets
Install new exterior lights

Piece of cake!! Should be no problem to finish before B comes home, unless he makes an amazing recovery and gets sprung by Halloween (which is actually possible!). Go Me! And all my amazing friends!

Current Mood: accomplished
Current Location: hospital planet

Today I got a bit of a reality check from the receptionist at Dr. Hei's office. She has always been so sweet, and happy to see B when he checks in for appointments. Lately she's been sick herself, and away from her post for days or weeks at a time. So B was very happy to see her back today, for the 1st time in 2 weeks.

While I was waiting for B to come out of the restroom so we could leave, I decided to stop by her station and let her know our news.

"They found a donor."
"Yay! That's wonderful!" Accompanied by hand-clapping, squealing and bouncing.
"yeah."
"Why aren't you more excited?"
"Well, it's not a perfect match, so there's more risk, and that's kind of scary."
"Okay, I can see that it would be scary."
"It's not perfect, but they said it's 'good enough'."
"Good enough is all that matters!"

YOu know what? She's right. A perfectionist like me needs to be reminded of these things from time to time. Good enough is perfectly acceptable. Especially after a day of further research re: GVHD and cord blood transplants.

GVHD is on the decline. People are only 30% likely to have a severe case. That really means the mortality rate is closer to 15%. That's a workable number. Also, even though cord blood transplants are looking very promising for children, they're very difficult to accomplish for full-grown people right now. The sheer volume is a problem. And you may not know for a full year whether or not the transplant will "take." That's an awful long time to go without an immune system. With a BMT, you know within several weeks if it's working. If it doesn't work for some reason, you can go back to the original donor for another try (can't do that with cord blood).

The cord blood thing is in clinical trials right now, so there isn't a lot of info on the topic. But if the BMT just doesn't work, it's still in the realm of possiblity to try. It doesn't take as long to find the match for cord blood - just a few weeks, because they're only matching 4 loci. It turns out that the Bone Marrow Donor Bank says you only need to match 6 of 6 loci for a perfect match, 5 is acceptable, less than that is not. B is matching in 7(!) locations with his potential donor. And the one mismatch is in a DNA criteria, not an antigen criteria. So really, it's a very very good match. It's not nearly as scary as it was this time yesterday. Aren't processing and the internet wonderful things?

Tonight, we're having a family dinner and family meeting to discuss everything that's coming up. Gazpacho and communication, what a great combo :)

Current Mood: okay
Current Location: my earth
Current Music: little league world series

This morning we met with the BMT specialist, Dr. Longo at UW Hospital. It was interesting, disturbing, bracing...

So out of 6 possible hits from the donor bank, 5 were a total no-go. The remaining one, #3, is a match in 7 out of 8 criteria or "locations." The A, B and DR locations all match perfectly, but the C location only matches by half. (I have no idea what this means medically or scientifically, I just know they'd prefer 8 of 8 to match). The problem with this type of mismatch is that there will definitely be Graft vs. Host complications. An 8/8 match will have a possiblity of no G v. H. If the G v. H is severe (that's a big, important IF), there's a 50-50 chance that it will be fatal. For the 8/8 match, the odds are better, only 30% risk of mortality. Of course, not proceeding is 100% fatal, eventually (within a couple of years). Heh. Life is 100% fatal eventually.

Anyway. For a second opinion, we're going to be checking with the U of Minnesota Hospital. They're doing interesting things with cord blood. No one cord donation produces enough stem cells for an adult transplant, but because cord stem cells are so immature, they don't have to be perfectly matched either. Only 4 major locations have to match up, and UM is doing this thing where they combine 2 or 3 cord donations into one transplant. The recipient takes much longer to develop a new immune system, and apparently, over time, one of the donor parts will establish dominance in the recipient's body, and the other two will fade away. So recovery from this experimental procedure will take at least twice as long - up to 2 years. And that's assuming our insurance would be willing to pay for it.

From the research we've been doing already, we believed that B would be in the hospital for a minimum of 100 days before coming home to near exclusion for at least another 3 months. Today, we learned that if we go with the UW procedure, the hospital stay would only be 5 weeks (plus the 3 months at home still). And, UW doesn't need us to provide a full time caregiver during the hospital stay. If we go to UM, we're back to the 3 in and 3 out scenario, plus it's 5 hours away from home. If he goes to UW, he'd be in by Oct. 1 and out before Thanksgiving. We've got no idea when he'd go in at UM.

We got to tour the unit today, and yes, it's definitely a hospital, but they've done a lot to make it comfortable for a longer stay. B can totally bring in a laptop, and all the TVs have DVD players, and there are nice gathering rooms with windows and views. If you're not totally sick, you're encouraged to leave your room (but not the wing). Bridgett Flynn, the coordinator who gave us the tour was wonderful. We didn't have an appointment to see her today, but she dropped everything to spend time with us. Dr. Longo sent her in at the end of the consult to bring us some info, and she offered to sit with us and answer questions. Once we had our chat, she offered the tour. The appointment was at 10:00, we didn't leave until 12. My mom will be happy to know we got a copy of B's DNA work for her geneaology project.

After that, we went to World Buffet on South Towne for lunch. That's a pretty good buffet. Came home, napped on the couch, continued the conversation and the processing. That's where we are now - processing. Tomorrow, he'll go in for labs in the morning, and we'll probably snag a minute with Dr. Hei even though it isn't our week to have a consult. B will probably also need a transfusion this weekend, and that always brings Dr. Hei by for a chat. So we'll get his opinion too.

I guess I'm looking for input here. I've never been shy about asking people to weigh in. I know I never consider all aspects of a situation on my own. I need other POVs to make good decisions, and I go looking for them.

So that's the update from my side.

Current Mood: worried
Current Location: home sweet earth
Current Music: PrimeTime

I have to say it again, "I LOVE our town." It is so SQUARE!

( Art Fair on the Square )

( Concerts on the Square )

( Ever haul a canoe around the Square? )

God, I love our town!! If you ask me, it's as close to heaven as a city can get.

And don't even get me started on next month.

rougebitch has aptly renamed it "the day of public drunkenness," but it's real name is "The Great Taste of the Midwest." The midwest's largest, most popular, most exclusive beer festival, where 5000 or so beer fiends will descend upon Olin Turville Park and drink themselves silly. If you didn't get your tickets the first week of May, we won't be seeing you there. You'd think with these conditions, there'd be fisticuffs galore, but these are the happiest, politest drunks you'll ever meet. We're all just so damn grateful to be there, tasting the fantastic lagers, ales & meads, thrilled to meet the brewers and hear about their trials and inspiration, delighted to see friends we've made in the past, that we only see here, once a year. It's another fantastic recurring event hosted in our town, but this one isn't held on the square.

What's not to love? (and hey, that's rhetorical, okay? don't be killing my buzz in comments today)

Current Mood: happy
Current Location: big blue marble
Current Music: morning quietude

Friday was an interesting day for our household.

1) DH returned from his Friday injection and blood work to find that the mailbox held two items. The first was from Meriter hospital. They've granted us 50% financial assistance. Now we just have to set up the payment plan on the no-longer-a-luxury-car outstanding balance.

2) The second envelope was from Social Security. They've approved DH's disability application, and his first eligible month is July. He'll get his first check at the end of August, and every month thereafter, until he's no longer disabled. The kids may also be eligible to receive assistance, but that decision will be made at a later time. In 2 years, he'll be eligible for Medicare, but that will be too late to help out with the bills for the BMT.

3) DH's blood levels held steady this week, even though he'd typically be due for a transfusion. His hemoglobin actually went up! That's a first,a nd we were all quite relieved and impressed. So no having to spend an entire day mucking about at the hospital. Instead, we were out very early for the farmer's market, and it was truly golorious. We made it back to the house by 9:30 am - the time we've usually left so far this season. However, all we purchased was a new daylily and a box of edible flowers (and breakfast). With our own garden coming on line, we're not so much in need of lettuce or garlic scapes right now.

4) My mom sent us some money! She recently sold her townhouse, and she gave my sister enough to get a good, reliable car that can accomodate two car seats, now that she's separated and her ex took possession of the "family" vehicle. She sent "a little bit" to her own mom. And she says, "I figure you're no less deserving than either of them." So we took the kids shopping for summer clothes. We'll get the car fixed (brakes & tires), get a new water softener, and get the hot tub back in working order. If there's anything left, I'll want to put it in savings, but DH will probably convince me to do something "fun" with it. I think the hot tub qualifies as fun. ::shrug::

5) (not so serious) Friday night we went up to the Dane to celebrate the day's news, and sat once again at the outside bar. We visited with all our young friends and acquaintances, and then a fairly attractive, middle-aged guy sat near us. He turned out to be a UW professor of 18th century literature, originally from Sweden. He is quite passionate about Madison in particular and the US in general. It was quite interesting to hear his point of view on our Puritan-based society. He loves our frenetic pace and drive to accomplish and acquire. He loves that we try to accomodate everyone. - Let me 'splain. No, it is too much, I summarize. When he arrived for his first teaching position in Milwaukee, he had almost no English. He was disabled. "It is like being in a wheelchair with no legs when you lose your words." I'm thinking it had to be even worse for someone whose whole career is based on words. More like being confined to a wheelchair when you've been a track star or downhill skier. His peers and students all helped him to succeed. Now he is a popular teacher, and he has many friends and a wife, and feels he belongs here. He says, "If I am from America, and I go to Sweden to teach, with only a little Swedish, I will never belong. They will all laugh at my Swedish and noone will help me. This is why I love America." As it turns out, his favorite hangouts are our favorite hangouts,a nd we know many of the same people. So maybe we will continue the discussion. I certainly hope so. I can't wait to get his reading list out of him!

Current Mood: pleased
Current Location: still earth
Current Music: funniest home videos

barley52 & I made a raid on Whole Foods yesterday, so today's snack went something like this:

Country style pork pate' with peppercorns
Van Gogh (Wisconsin) Aged Gouda
Comte le trois semi-hard cheese - it's hard to describe other than sin melting in your mouth
Green olives marinated in sea fennel
Oven-roasted tomatoes in olive oil
Breton crackers
Sourdough bread
New Glarus "Naked" beer

I know feel ready to enter the kitchen and begin working on the roasted garlic aioli for the potatoes I'm making for dinner. The ribs are on the grill for at least the next 2 hours... Margaritas are in the offing. Just in case you don't realize it, the "snack" was our 2nd meal of the day, so it's not as bad as it sounds. Although we just realized we've been going through some sort of pork renaissance this week/end. Pork shish kebob with peppers and fresh pineapple on Thurs. Andouille Sausage on Sat. Breakfast links and bacon this morning. Ribs tonight. Pork fat rules, babyees!! We also stuck 3 very large and meaty ham hocks in the freezer. hmmmm.

OTOH, I can't wait for tomatoes to start ripening in the garden. I'm totally learning to roast my own this year.

And a warning - We ate at the Cousin's Subs on Odana for a quick lunch Friday. I'd had a poor service experience there a while back, but thought it would be fair to give them a second try. We were the first of the mini-rush they had while we were there. The service was better, but the table I picked was quite sticky, so DH wanted to move down one. That one wasn't as bad, but I offered him a Wet Wipe anyway, thinking he'd use it to clean his hands (we don't go anywhere without wipes and hand sanitizer anymore). He used the wipe to clean the table, and came up with an almost totally green wipe. Can you say "fungal?" So he went up to the counter and said to the manager, "I don't mean to be critical, but I just wiped this off my table." The manager promptly sent a young lady out to clean our table for us. I said, "this one is clean now, but that one is really sticky." She cleaned it and decided to do all of the tables. I was watching surreptitiously, and every table she sprayed down returned a very black paper towel. She kept balling them up in her other hand, so you couldn't really see how bad they were unless you were watching. Then DH observed her wiping down the soda machine and napkin dispensers. Everytime she'd wipe something off, she'd make a disgusted face at the paper towel. In light of all this, I won't be patronizing that location again.

Current Mood: content
Current Location: a green little corner of earth
Current Music: US Open

Yesterday morning, I heard DH say, "I found our next brunch." He'd found on

food_porn, a recipe for carrot cake pancakes with maple cream cheese spread. Yum! So we read the recipe, and made sure on our shopping travels that we acquired whole wheat pastry flour, neufatchel, maple syrup and walnuts. We also planned for bacon and sausage. ::g::

So this morning, I'm sitting here getting hungrier by the minute, when I finally say, "are you going to make those pancakes?"

DH: I have to make my own father's day brunch?

Me: oh shit.

Talk about a faux pas. But we worked it out together. I collected up ingredients, made the spread, separated eggs, toasted walnuts, cooked the meat, and made OJ, garnished with chunks of fresh pineapple and paper umbrellys. DH assembled the batter, and fried up the cakes. We called the hoodlums in from their respective beds, and had a very fine meal TM. We learned that Mavis had scary cheerleading dreams (basing a chunky girl), Rupert learned that an "x" at the end of a word pluralizes it, and DH had 2 sausages and 3 pieces of bacon.

The dinner menu:

Pork ribs rubbed with DH's fine chili rub, and liberally mopped with a tequila/lime/mesquite sauce. Potatoes - I'm thinking Yukon golds roasted with EVOO and rosemary, and salad fresh from the garden. There's a fudge marble ice cream for dessert.

Bonus menu: Saturday dinner - Grilled Andouille sausages, black beans & rice, garden-fresh rainbow chard cooked in rice wine, rice vinegar, balsamic, etc. and finished with a drizzle of truffle oil, and a sliced cucumber and vidalia salad dressed with tarragon vinegar and black pepper. The boys garnished their plates with louisiana hot peppers. That was "a meat and three" at its finest. Funny how the longer I live here, the more appreciative I become of the southern menus. Silly me.

Current Mood: full
Current Location: earth again
Current Music: Diana Krall

This was a long, hard week. Whoever decided Mondays should be national holidays should be revived from the dead and then shot. A Monday holiday means that Tuesday is both Monday and Tuesday of the holiday week. Mondays are generally bad days, because you're not ready to come back from the weekend, but Tuesdays tend to be very bad days for me right now, because that's the day the architect's rep visits my job. This past Tuesday was long and hard. And not in the good way.

Wednesday, I made it home just in time to change clothes and pack up my sandwich to take in the car. The boy had baseball practice and the girl had the annual cheerleader meeting where we write the check for all her clinics and uniform stuff. ($231 this year, less than usual, but also includes TWO pair of shoes). On the way out of the neighborhood, the boy asks, "what's up at the N's?"
"What do you mean?"
"when I came home from school, there were cop cars in the driveway and caution tape around the yard."
We had no idea what that was about, but it just can't be *good.* But there was no evidence of the goings on at 6:00 pm. I wondered about the possibility of domestic violence, but in 7 years in this neighborhood, had never had reason to think that before about these neighbors.  After the meeting and the practice and filling the gas tank, I was too pooped to post, and ended up going to bed at 9:30.

Thursday was a really tough day. Things had not turned around on the job site, I really had no clue when or how we were going to achieve substantial completion, only knew that it would in no way be Friday, June 2. Lost two hours of my life to my supervisor, who was uselessly going over and over the project and how we ended up in the mess we're in. I kept telling myself to breathe and not be defensive. I inherited this mess, I didn't cause it. I've done everything possible to pull out a save, but it wasn't meant to be. When I finally headed home with Meatloaf blasting out the speakers, i was pretty darn proud of how I'd handled myself for those 2 hours. But damn, I wanted a martini or two. And I was looking forward to a very thorough fucking in the very near future. ::g::
I arrived home and *demanded* my hugs from everyone. When Mavis finally let go, she said, "we have sad news."
"What?"
"Randy killed himself yesterday."
"Randy? Randy N?"
"Yes. The house was for sale, they were getting a divorce. He had a driniking problem."
O.M.G. I lost it. All day I had managed not to cry over something I had no control over, but hearing this was the limit. I had had a conversation with a library board member just before coming home, wherin I was expounding on my philosophy of trying to stay on the bright side. My life could always be worse than it is. My ace in the hole is that I could be living in Afghanistan or Iraq right now. So. My life could always be worse. But oh my god, there is no way my life is worse than Jenny and Jessie's. They've just lost their dad. They're 13 & 10. Jenny & Randy were inseperable. He shot himself in the head in the home he built for them.  What a horribly selfish thing he's done.
For the rest of the night, just about any time I openend my mouth to speak, I wound up crying. It was a 3 martini night, and again I went to bed at 9:30.  Gobsmacked is the perfectly apt descriptor for Thursday.

Friday was long again, and I didn't even get away from the site to accompany DH to his doctor appointment. His levels were low, as he expected, requiring transfusion again, but they decided it would be better to wait until today, so he could get up on 6 East, where the staff is a little more knowledgeable about his condition, and more able to poke him without truly hurting him. The kids were doing their own thing for the evening, so we went to the Dane for dinner and a couple of beers. By the time we got home, I was pretty much down for the count again, and talked DH into yet another early bedtime. Unfortunately, neither one of us slept well or long.  On an up note, we did manage to get the building to the point it needed to be at for the shelving delivery on Saturday,a nd the beginning of the move-in on Monday. But we won't be truly *done* until June 22 (almost 3 weeks later than the target).

I was not really ready to get up this morning, but DH wanted to cruise the Farmer's Market before checking into the hospital. It was an absolutely beautiful morning,a nd I enjoyed the circuit, but after I left him with the first pint running in, I went home for a sandwich and a nap. He checked in around 9 and was about ready to go at 2:30. Much better than the last couple of times in the north tower. We've rented some DVDs, and I'm doing a chinese-inspired menu for dinner. Tomorrow we'll have to get groceries and finish up some house cleaning. But it is also the state park open house, and it might be nice to really get out for the day.

Current Mood: drained
Current Location: tiny tiny earth
Current Music: MLB

Y'all send

barley52 some love today!

I'd sing, but he prefers it when I don't...

Current Mood: tired
Current Location: earth
Current Music: birds twittering

Fan Girl Wannabe

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October 2013

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