fullygoldy (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
fullygoldy) wrote2006-04-20 12:28 pm
fullygoldy) wrote2006-04-20 12:28 pm
A Rec and a Thought
I just read “Consider the Lilies of the Goddamned Field” by Nifra Idril, and it was pretty darn good. Most of my flist won’t even bother with it because it’s due South and it’s slash. But I figured with a title like that, I had to read it because 1) It is already perfect Ray Kowalski voice, and B) I can totally get behind the sentiment. The story is more of a think piece, and while sex is referenced, it’s not really a part of the actual action. But Ray gets his Mountie in the end (figuratively, sheesh). So it’s all good. And I think “consider the lilies of the goddamned field” is going to become one of my mantras.
You know what I miss? I miss kissing. Don’t get me wrong, I was kissing my DH just last night, but I miss that kissing from before we ever knew sex. Remember when you were young, and you hadn’t really done anything yet? Kissing was new and exciting, and maybe even a little naughty, if you did it long enough or added tongues and teeth. I could kiss for hours. I loved that sensation of my lips swelling up and becoming so smoothly sensitive I could use them to count stubble. Your whole world shrinks down into this tight, sensual focal point of lips and skin, and warm, moist breath. Mostly you’re flying blind too, so the sensations are even more pronounced. By the time you quit, you’re just panting for something, anything, you-don’t-even-know-what, and you’ve got to stumble home and kiss your mom goodnight (and isn’t that a wake up call), before you collapse on your bed and finger your lips dreamily until sleep finally claims you.
I never really found that many guys who were willing to do the marathon kissing thing either. Most of them were focused on moving beyond kissing, and yeah, I wasn’t stupid, I knew what they thought they should be moving on to next, but I wasn’t stupid, and I wasn’t about to just give up what I wanted right then, or what I wanted for my future just because some guy was on a schedule. Years later, I realized at least one was content to focus on the kissing because he didn’t really want to do anything else. I was the wrong gender, and by the time I’d hooked up with him, I knew what lay beyond kissing, and I wanted some of that from him too. Took me a long time to figure out why, because while I’m not stupid, I’m also not real quick to notice which way the wind is blowing. Hell, I even had to be told I like girls that way. But there was this one guy in college, and it had to be 2nd year, because I remember the townhouse I was living in. Oh yeah, he liked to kiss. He preferred it. He was focused. OMG, it was delicious to just go back like that and do nothing but kiss until you just couldn’t do anything else. I asked him about it once, and this is how I was introduced to Heinlein. He’d read “Stranger” and the description of Mike kissing (like he doesn’t have anywhere else to be, like he doesn’t even know there’s something beyond kissing he could be moving toward) really impressed him. So my Mike decided to try it, to see if he could get into a similar headspace. And lo, all the girls he kissed with that mindset loved it, loved being with him, and lo again, he found out that he actually loved it too. It became his default setting, and I’m here to say that any girl lucky enough to have been kissed by this guy, went away a happy, happy girl. And no, he & I never had sex, but you don’t get that story today. He is the last guy I can remember really doing the marathon thing with, and hmmm, that’s going on 25 yrs now. (OMG-I can’t believe that!)
DH doesn’t love kissing the way I do, but the way I see it, it’s not his fault. He started having sex before he discovered the joy of kissing, and he’s a normal, horny, male-type person, so why on earth would he want to go backwards? Once most guys learn how nice it is to put that little buddy inside another person, that’s going to be their goal. Am I right? Besides, it’s not like he hates kissing, and it’s not like I’m not willing to move beyond it on a pretty regular basis. But on a sunny spring day like today, full of cool breezes and the promise of warm earth and flowers, I really do miss kissing. ::sigh::
You know what I miss? I miss kissing. Don’t get me wrong, I was kissing my DH just last night, but I miss that kissing from before we ever knew sex. Remember when you were young, and you hadn’t really done anything yet? Kissing was new and exciting, and maybe even a little naughty, if you did it long enough or added tongues and teeth. I could kiss for hours. I loved that sensation of my lips swelling up and becoming so smoothly sensitive I could use them to count stubble. Your whole world shrinks down into this tight, sensual focal point of lips and skin, and warm, moist breath. Mostly you’re flying blind too, so the sensations are even more pronounced. By the time you quit, you’re just panting for something, anything, you-don’t-even-know-what, and you’ve got to stumble home and kiss your mom goodnight (and isn’t that a wake up call), before you collapse on your bed and finger your lips dreamily until sleep finally claims you.
I never really found that many guys who were willing to do the marathon kissing thing either. Most of them were focused on moving beyond kissing, and yeah, I wasn’t stupid, I knew what they thought they should be moving on to next, but I wasn’t stupid, and I wasn’t about to just give up what I wanted right then, or what I wanted for my future just because some guy was on a schedule. Years later, I realized at least one was content to focus on the kissing because he didn’t really want to do anything else. I was the wrong gender, and by the time I’d hooked up with him, I knew what lay beyond kissing, and I wanted some of that from him too. Took me a long time to figure out why, because while I’m not stupid, I’m also not real quick to notice which way the wind is blowing. Hell, I even had to be told I like girls that way. But there was this one guy in college, and it had to be 2nd year, because I remember the townhouse I was living in. Oh yeah, he liked to kiss. He preferred it. He was focused. OMG, it was delicious to just go back like that and do nothing but kiss until you just couldn’t do anything else. I asked him about it once, and this is how I was introduced to Heinlein. He’d read “Stranger” and the description of Mike kissing (like he doesn’t have anywhere else to be, like he doesn’t even know there’s something beyond kissing he could be moving toward) really impressed him. So my Mike decided to try it, to see if he could get into a similar headspace. And lo, all the girls he kissed with that mindset loved it, loved being with him, and lo again, he found out that he actually loved it too. It became his default setting, and I’m here to say that any girl lucky enough to have been kissed by this guy, went away a happy, happy girl. And no, he & I never had sex, but you don’t get that story today. He is the last guy I can remember really doing the marathon thing with, and hmmm, that’s going on 25 yrs now. (OMG-I can’t believe that!)
DH doesn’t love kissing the way I do, but the way I see it, it’s not his fault. He started having sex before he discovered the joy of kissing, and he’s a normal, horny, male-type person, so why on earth would he want to go backwards? Once most guys learn how nice it is to put that little buddy inside another person, that’s going to be their goal. Am I right? Besides, it’s not like he hates kissing, and it’s not like I’m not willing to move beyond it on a pretty regular basis. But on a sunny spring day like today, full of cool breezes and the promise of warm earth and flowers, I really do miss kissing. ::sigh::
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...I dunno if any of that made sense.
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yes
*Smooch*
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I used to think I was never going to get to shower in private again, but that happened too :)
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