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Life isn't Fair
Friday, April 27th, 2007 12:55 pmThis is for all my friends going through drama this month, this year, this whatever.
If life was fair, then you'd have to believe that you actually deserve the bad things that do happen to you. I don't know that having more obvious rewards in my life would balance out the bad things that I'd deserve.
I know you're having hard times, and feeling like no one understands where you are, or that no one is giving you the support you think you want or need. I'm sorry you're feeling this way, but most of you have been in a similar place at least once before in your lives, and you know that life is cyclical in nature. You know that you'll survive this latest drama (whatever it may be), even though you'd rather not have to do the work it's going to take to get through it. I'd like to think that I'm a supportive and caring friend and that you can rely on me for some important things.
Today, that important thing you need is a slap upside the head. I'm conveying it thusly, because I was the recipient of this reality check myself this week. No matter how bad things are right in this moment, they can always be worse. I'm not talking about "dying in Afghanistan" worse, I'm talking about right here in your neighborhood or city worse.
You could be a woman who spent a year trying to conceive a child, who finally succeeded at christmas time, with the help of a fertility specialist, and be totally delighted. You could have found out that not one, but three embryos "took" and you would soon be the parent of three, and be totally shocked. In the intervening months, you could have come to realize that your husband didn't actually want any babies (and maybe doesn't want to be married either), and be contemplating single motherhood with triplets, and be completely surprised and frantic. And this week, at only 21 weeks along, you could have gone into labor, delivered all three, and held them while they passed away within hours of their birth, convinced that they were your last chance at fulfilling a life-long dream.
RIP Antonia, Lucille and George.
We all have our crosses to bear, and I've found that this is true: many hands do lighten the load. Let's all make sure we're reaching out to each other, no matter what our own loads weigh. It's the only way we're going to survive this so-called life.
If life was fair, then you'd have to believe that you actually deserve the bad things that do happen to you. I don't know that having more obvious rewards in my life would balance out the bad things that I'd deserve.
I know you're having hard times, and feeling like no one understands where you are, or that no one is giving you the support you think you want or need. I'm sorry you're feeling this way, but most of you have been in a similar place at least once before in your lives, and you know that life is cyclical in nature. You know that you'll survive this latest drama (whatever it may be), even though you'd rather not have to do the work it's going to take to get through it. I'd like to think that I'm a supportive and caring friend and that you can rely on me for some important things.
Today, that important thing you need is a slap upside the head. I'm conveying it thusly, because I was the recipient of this reality check myself this week. No matter how bad things are right in this moment, they can always be worse. I'm not talking about "dying in Afghanistan" worse, I'm talking about right here in your neighborhood or city worse.
You could be a woman who spent a year trying to conceive a child, who finally succeeded at christmas time, with the help of a fertility specialist, and be totally delighted. You could have found out that not one, but three embryos "took" and you would soon be the parent of three, and be totally shocked. In the intervening months, you could have come to realize that your husband didn't actually want any babies (and maybe doesn't want to be married either), and be contemplating single motherhood with triplets, and be completely surprised and frantic. And this week, at only 21 weeks along, you could have gone into labor, delivered all three, and held them while they passed away within hours of their birth, convinced that they were your last chance at fulfilling a life-long dream.
RIP Antonia, Lucille and George.
We all have our crosses to bear, and I've found that this is true: many hands do lighten the load. Let's all make sure we're reaching out to each other, no matter what our own loads weigh. It's the only way we're going to survive this so-called life.
