fullygoldy | Recent Entries

October 2013

S	M	T	W	T	F	S
		1	2	3	4	5
6	7	8	9	10	11	12
13	14	15	16	17	18	19
20	21	22	23	24	25	26
27	28	29	30	31

Syndicate

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags

This week has been exceedingly hard for me emotionally. I'm going to cut-tag for length, but I'm not going to apologize for content.

( This is what being a woman looks like right now. )*discussion of rape, sex, double standards and the standard things that might make you scream if you're female, an ally or you know, human.

Current Mood: nauseated
Current Location: still earth

I won't be at WisCon this year. DH is turning 60 the same weekend and decided to throw himself a big party. Since the first 15 weeks of this year were so tough on him, and he seriously didn't think he was going to make it to this birthday, I couldn't really object to celebrating one more circuit of the sun. Usually I do Wiscon Friday to Sunday and spend Monday with DH. But we're flipping it around this year.

Some good friends offered the use of their farmhouse and land, so we've got a crowd gathering on Saturday afternoon, kegs of homebrew (Porter and Amber), a bluegrass/ newgrass band playing after dinner (Piper Road Spring Band), and an old fashioned "Low Country Boil" for dinner. There will be musical jamming all day, and a bonfire after dark, and people spending the night in tents and such. Sunday will be farm-fresh brunch, cleanup and recovery. It will be fun (even though I'm more of an 80's music gal), but alas, there won't be any fangirls (that I know of) attending.

I'm thinking I might be able to break away for lunch or an afternoon meetup with anyone who is still hanging around on Monday, so if you're up for it, please let me know. I'd be delighted if all I got to do was hang out in the lobby and hug on people who I might not see otherwise.

Current Mood: pleased
Current Location: still earth

Just finished my first viewing of Lincoln. It's definitely going to take more than one viewing to take it all in. But my favorite bit has to be the evening of the successful vote, when Rep. Stephens (Tommy Lee Jones) returns home and presents the official Bill as a gift to his housekeeper. Then he retires to his bed, where they share a very ordinary kiss, discuss the events of the day, and revel in their success. It's a beautiful, intimate and utterly domestic moment.

I never saw it coming. Obviously, I didn't pay close enough attention to the political figures of the day. I've got a decent mental map of the military figures, but really didn't bother with the motivations of the guys who got to cast their votes before now (this is partly because this was not "my" war - I was always much more interested in the Revolution). I continue to be surprised that so much legislation that has been passed in this world has been swayed by wanting to do right by someone's beloved.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt has finally appeared convincingly as an adult. He looked much to much the kid playing dress-up in Inception, but here, where he was a young man whose parents wanted to keep him from enlisting, he is much more mature *and* believable. Maybe it was the facial hair? JK, his angst, his pain over doing the right and honorable thing, so that he could live with himself after - well done.

Is the age disparity between Sally Field and Daniel Day Lewis weird to anyone else? And yet, onscreen, it was not apparent. Their portrayal of the Lincolns' grief, the gaping whole in their personal lives was palpable, these people who had to carry on, doing the right thing, the hard thing, because it needed doing and they were there to do it.

I'm impressed. The acting, the cinematography, the focus on such a short timespan. It's worth seeing. About halfway through, I also remarked that everyone in it, regardless of age, looked appropriately worn. They lived in hard times by our standards, even if they hadn't been at war for years. They lived in a time when life was short and hard and fairly desperate. I liked that none of them were all shiny, glamorous, smooth-skinned and young. We owe so much to our forefathers and foremothers. We forget too easily that our current lifestyle and society would be impossible without their legacy.

Current Mood: impressed
Current Location: still earth

DAY 7: Count your fannish blessings. Post about (at least) three fannish blessings, for example, three reasons you love your fandom or fandom in general, three happy fannish memories, three people who've inspired your fannishness.

Archive of Our Own. Hours of delight and awe right at my fingertips. I like the new search and page arrangement quite a bit. I love being able to dip a toe into or dive in the deep end of any fandom that strikes my fancy.

Kradamadness. Even though it's basically inactive now, Kradamadness is how I came to embrace a certain subset of WIPs. I used to be highly WIP-averse, but the fun and silliness inherent to Kradamadness meant I could participate (mainly as a reader), enjoy WIPs, and let go of them if they were eventually abandoned. After all, there was always something new around the corner. I didn't have to feel betrayed if a story ended up going nowhere. I have choices!!

Porn. I've always (since a ridiculously early age) liked reading porn. And fandom has given me a nearly infinite supply of well-written, non-skeevy porn. (Yes, I realize that fandom in general is also still quite encumbered by poorly-written and/or skeevy porn.

Porn sub clause a. Reliable recs so I can totally avoid the poorly-written and/or skeevy

Porn sub clause b. A back button that I'm not afraid to operate (okay, that's not from fandom specifically or exclusively, but it's a very fine fannish blessing anyway)

New forms of Expression. This can range from staying up-to-date on the latest RL slang (SRSLY? ORLY? w00t! were all introduced to me by fandom), staying up-to-date with fandom-specific slang (Paul Gross arms, BSO, PWP etc), or picking up expressions from my favorite characters.

Exhibit A: Just the other day, during my monthly update, I told my pantheon of managers, "okay, that's one impossible thing sorted. Only 5 more to go before breakfast." They were slightly bewildered, but they understood me from context. I smiled enigmatically.

Exhibit B: Today, I realized that I now can really empathize with the GenKill boys, because my latest project has me fucked sideways, without benefit of gun lube, and the sand in my ass is KILLING me. Thank you Brad Colbert and Ray Person for helping me to get this off my chest.

Kinkmemes. These are a really good way to expand your horizons. I'm just sayin'.**

Making New Friends. How wonderful is it that anyone can go from leaving anonymous newby feedback, to direct interaction with authors/creators, to being granted access to their RL entries, or meeting and interacting with them face-to-face, to being allowed to co-beta the most awesome/popular thing that's dropped on fandom in recent history?!?!

I could list nearly every single person on my DW reading list/LJ friend list as a "fannish" blessing (a very few of you aren't fannish, alas). You all enrich my days with your wit, wisdom and generosity.

I say unto you, verily, Fandom is a blessing.

*does anyone actually need this cited?
**see what I did there? And there?

Current Mood: blessed AND aggravated, whut?
Current Location: Still Earth

china_shop's annual event is underway. Today it's rec 3 fanworks more than 6 months old.

In the YKINMK category: Good Boy by leashy_bebes is just old enough to qualify for today's challenge.

Animal play, puppy play, these are not my kinks, but this story is surprisingly sweet and hot. Avengers, Tony/Bruce
Tony is exhausted, sweet, and needy, Bruce is smart and generous. At 3459 words, it's not a huge investment to try something different, which is how I discovered it. I'm glad I did. I should have bookmarked it when I first read it, because it took way too long to relocate this morning, but it was worth it.

In the Older Man/Younger Man category: A Burning Patience by Mazarin221b Lewis, Lewis/Hathaway, 4717 words

An old dog learns some new tricks. Mild kink exploration, touching and hot, and totally needs a sequel.

In the PWP category, since I cannot seem to find the one that starts off in a California Pizza Kitchen: How's That for a Sign? by accol Generation Kill, Brad Colbert/Nate Fick, 2624 words

accol is a good writer, and these bite-size stories are great for standing in line, etc. Brad in a wet T-shirt is irresistable.

I seriously need to relocate the California Pizza Kitchen story though - I've been searching AOOO all day, with no luck. The thing is, they're so damn smart. The words they string together are unbelievable, and unbelieveably hot. Plus, the pretty doesn't hurt a whit.

Current Mood: frustrated
Current Location: still earth

Memory Lane Meme.

china_shop gave me 30.

I lived in Greenville, South Carolina, in the second house we ever bought. It was on Batesview Rd. I turned 30 almost 6 weeks to the day after my son (2nd child) was born. I was all aglow with stay-at-home mommyhood that year. The neighborhood had no sidewalks, but was very well maintained with a good mix of ages. Some people had built their houses, raised their kids there and continued to live there through retirement, with visiting grandkids on holidays. We had several walking routes, a Jr Olympic-sized pool at the end of the street, and easy access to a lovely city park. We were also within spitting distance of Bob Jones University, which was an island of strange in a sea of conservatism.

I drove a silver Plymouth Voyager. It was the classic minivan/mom-mobile. It's name was Ferdinand the Van. A clunky vehicle needs a clunky name, doncha know.

I was in a relationship with DH. At this point we'd been together 6+ years. It was and is the longest (romantic) relationship of my life. At this time we were still monogamous, which was a huge 'accomplishment' for me, as it's not really my nature. But it would be another 2 years before we would even come up for air, we were that smitten.

I feared... becoming a permanent stay-at-home mom? Not being a good parent? Turning into a full-blown southern married woman for sure. I was conflicted. I loved being with my babies, but I missed my professional life (and the discretionary part of the income).

I worked - At the end of my maternity leave, I was laid-off and went directly onto unemployment. I had only expected to be home for 12 weeks max. It was a crappy way to be laid-off, over the phone, by HR, instead of by my own supervisor, but my whole department was gone, and I was pretty thrilled to be staying home longer, with severence pay and then unemployment. That summer I was the President of our community pool, became a certified pool operator to satisfy new state health laws, and handled all the money, hiring, and payroll duties as well. Also anything else the rest of the board didn't want to do that we couldn't afford to pay someone else for. It paid great: I received all kinds of backward compliments, passive aggressive behaviors and downright nasty comments about allowing a daycare that also had 'coloreds' to reserve one of the weekly rental time slots that I'd set up to help earn the pool some desperately-needed revenue. This was the volunteer job where I learned that no good deed goes unpunished.

I wanted to be well-off enough to decorate my house and keep up with Miss Amy across the street. Her place was like a House Beautiful spread, but most of the stuff she made herself or got second-hand, and her husband was a hobby woodworker, so he'd do whatever crown and base moldings or whatever else she wanted. She was my best friend at the time too. I knew I had to go back to work eventually, but I absolutely wallowed in happiness the 15 months I stayed home. I even ironed DH's dress shirts every week! I hate ironing!

Want to meme? Tell me how old you are, and I'll pick a random age for you to remember.

Current Mood: tired
Current Location: still earth
Current Music: silence

We accidentally mainlined the History Channel's new series, Vikings, yesterday. Late afternoon, we were looking for a way to kill time while prepping dinner, and it was interesting enough...

Hah! Apparently they replayed everything to date - we stayed with it until 11:00 pm, through dinner and cleanup and everything. So tonite's new ep will pick up where we left off last night.

( My thoughts on the characters, with very minor spoilers )

I've read a few critiques that discuss how badly the historical facts are being handwaved, and yeah, there are some things that just jump off the screen. But the story is pretty good, and the characters are pretty interesting. The feminist bits are cool, because you see women who are very strong in their selves, having to exist in a very macho, patriarchal society. Yes, they're not really treated as equal citizens (probably factual), but there's no doubt that they are fully-developed people, they just don't have fully-developed standing in their society (hmmmm, Athelstan is in a similar societal gray area). This is way closer to 'reality' in a soft-science sense than we usually get from mainstream stories. I'm really glad I'm not a Viking. I'm way too squeamish to deal with all the blood and gore. Not just from the sanctioned warrior violence, but just from the day to day life of that time period. I'm going to say an extra special thank-you prayer for my shower today.

So we're looking forward to tonight's ep!!

Current Mood: thoughtful
Current Location: still earth

They do this thing where I work called a PIP (see title), so if you're not performing well, instead of firing you, they demoralize you first with the pretty much impossible PIP process, but it gives you time to look elsewhere before being let go. Most people see the writing on the wall and bail before they have documented proof the PIP failed.

2013!! Why have you not found employment elsewhere?!?!

( ER visit the first )

( Bad Carma )

( Local Warming? )

( ER visit the 2nd )

( Subaruby is a sad panda )

( ION )

It appears we've hit our out-of pocket max of medical expenses for the whole year in the first quarter. Yay? Now I am eating steamed dumplings and drinking vodka. If I had a hottub or a bath deep enough, I might actually not feel like whining.

Current Mood: exhausted
Current Location: still earth

Crap. A very dear friend to DH is going into hospice. She was diagnosed with breast cancer around the time he was diagnosed with MDS. Her recovery was longer and more arduous than DH's. And then, when she was ~5 yrs out and expecting to be pronounced cured, another kind appeared. She's decided to stop chemo since she can't even take any nourishment by mouth now.

I'm so mad. And terrified. DH is doing better, finally, from his throat cancer "cure." Yes, it's gone, but the aftermath of the surgery has been hell these past 8 weeks. In the past three days he was able to eat stuff that wasn't entirely liquid once or twice per day, and sleep more hours in a row at night than in the day, awaking pretty refreshed and encouraged. It's still hard getting 1500 cals per day into him, and he's lost 30 pounds since Jan 11 (We now weigh almost the same - scary and weird).

The thing is, if we ever had to face the hospice decision - I don't think I could do it. Maybe for me, I could, but I'm terrified that if it ever comes to that for DH, I'll be too selfish and adamant to let him go. I'll fight and fight, and badger him to keep fighting, and refuse to let him talk about the things you need to talk about while on that last part of the path. I don't think I'm ever going to willingly let go. For all my hard-won zen/non-attachment attitude to the rest of life, his death by cancer is just the one thing I'm going to refuse to accept.

Dammit. I hate this.

Current Location: still earth, still home

Windfall Meme, spotted @

resonant: what I would do if $N dropped into my lap in some legal non-taxable (or post-tax) way?

$10 most likely, it would end up in the boy's gas tank. He can be bribed to do most anything around the house for $10

$100 I'd try acupuncture for the first time. DH tried it last week and it looked very appealing.

$1,000 Either new floor coverings in the great room (2 area rugs) or new dining room chairs.

$10,000 Pay off AMEX and/or small personal loan, plus a weekend at a nice hotel/resort/spa

$100,000 Remodel and repair this old house. My most recent wish list added up to ~$90K, and there is *always* gonna be scope creep.

$1,000,000 Pay off mortgage, car, small debts, remodel from above, beef up 401k, add a hot tub and some other luxuries, gifts to PP, Habitat, etc. and to family members.

$10,000,000 and up This is where it gets cool. I've been playing with this idea for a couple of years, and I would totally have to hire someone smarter than me to pull it off correctly. But I would purchase the mortgages of as many of my friends and family as possible. Which would make me into a bank (more like a credit union?). I wouldn't pay off their debts, because then they have to deal with gift taxes. But I'd refinance them at some ridiculously low rate, just enough to theoretically cover my operating expenses. And then I would never foreclose. So if they quit paying, well, that's their choice, but I think the rest of the concept is compelling enough to keep them making payments. If the homeowners get into a situation where they *can't* pay, they won't ever have to fear losing their home - this bank will never foreclose. And if they keep paying, then the credit union accumulates resources, so that every year, the members of said credit union can nominate new members. If everyone plays along, eventually the entire paradigm of home mortgages will shift so that we as a society expect that everyone deserves a good home that matches their means and should never fear becoming displaced due to illness or lack of employment or really any other reason. That initial $10MM will buy up a lot of mortgages. I'm figuring anybody with a >$500k house isn't really going to need (or welcome) this type of assistance. But think about it, you're doing perfectly fine with your house payment, then your kids hit 18 and you have to pay tuition. What if you could take a mortgage holiday during the college years? Or your mom needs assisted living, or your dad needs hospice, or your company laid off 20% of it's workforce. If you didn't have to make a mortgage payment, could you survive those events? It would still be *hard* right? But it might actually be survivable. I like to think about it on days when the universe is showing me it's butt. It would be SO COOL to be the one to set this into motion. Also, sticking it to the 1% in this way seems especially subversive. That's it's own appeal right there.

Current Mood: worried
Current Location: still earth

Shiny new year, shiny new drama. Can it be 2014 now?

The DH, he is not better. In fact, multiple side effects, slow healing, rapid weight loss (due to limited liquid diet), and lack of sleep have conspired to wear him to a nub. I'm still a knob, but I'm sure I'll lose the K by morning.

The girl, her luck is atrocious. Shiny "new" dream car, turns out to be a lemon. Stranded on the road 3 times since it was purchased Jan 9. Same problem all 3 times. Mechanic is completely stumped. Also, the engagement, it is over. She's returning the ring tonight. (I'm not actually surprised, and had to resist mightily telling the guy that if someone's heart was to be broken, it would be *his* back when he was announcing his intentions. I'd feel bad for him if he wasn't a card-carrying, gun-totin' Republican. What was he *thinking*?! It's as bad as when Dharma met Greg.)

I cannot focus enough on work, but am v. v. thankful that no one has called me on it yet. I need to call my sister and find out the details about her latest drama (she suddenly has "custody" of her ex-husband's *mother*, who has Alzheimer's and has been demonstrably neglected by her only son since she became a widow) but I don't have the spoons for it.

The boy, well, he got a job finally, and is liking it, and is optimistic about moving forward (so is the girl), but his pig-headed husky puppy ran away tonight.

If anyone feels compelled to write a song about my life right now, I will probably learn voodoo just to get even.

Current Mood: exhausted
Current Location: still earth

I'm on my way to a wake for a dear friend of DH's. He had an incurable form of MDS, the original thing DH had, but was thankfully cured of. Bill contracted pneumonia last week and was gone within 2 days. He had the most amazing outlook, he was super sweet, and fun to talk to, and he and DH bonded over their mutual experiences. They were each other's cheerleaders.

This particular wake is being held in the favorite local watering hole, where most of us met Bill. Any Friday he was able, he'd be there visiting, catching up, sharing a pint. The normal thing one does whilst living your life. DH had been really upset he couldn't go to the bar on Friday to show Bill how well he was recovering from his latest surgery, and hear about how the latest experimental drug was working. Then we found out yesterday that Bill wouldn't have been there anyway.

Unfortunately, I'm afraid the wake will also be a sort of gauntlet for us, and I'm betting I'll be able to put together a bingo card when I get back. It's half constructed in my head already, and I've got a feeling I'm likely to go off on one or two people whom I already KNOW will say something so wildly inappropriate that the only reasonable response will be screaming in their faces. So I'm not really off to a good start. Also, I haven't had any alcohol since Thursday, due to a mystery bug that hit me Friday. I'm not sure if it would be better to stay sober(ish) or tie one on if things get wonky.

Current Mood: melancholy

Okay, this is something that's been bothering our household for awhile now, and I just have to know. What's the etiquette on "liking" comments on FaceBook?

We have a friend, who styles himself as a white knight, who has been very close to the family/part of the chosen family, but has become somewhat stifling and intrusive over time. He recently began "liking" every single status update made by any of us, and every single comment made in response to those updates. It feels like stalking - especially since he seems to like or comment within minutes of any post we make (which can't actually be true because he doesn't have a FB-capable phone). But it feels really intrusive. Are we overreacting? Is there any way to ask him to stop without sounding terrible?

He's the annoying uncle, yannow? The one that irritates everyone, but he's still part of the family and you wouldn't dream of organising a family gathering without him. (Only lately we've started dreaming...)

Current Location: still earth

Weekend update:
DH went into the hospital for surgery at noonish on Friday. Surgery at 2:30, surgeon consult afterward at 5:00. He was pleased, thinks he removed everything, pathology needs to confirm. If the report is clean, no radiation needed (YAY). 7:30 he's up in his room, and going on toward 12 I finally went home. I'll keep all the TMI details to myself, but sheesh, hospitals are really not designed for preserving dignity. Thank goodness for private rooms with doors.

Saturday morning - took the girl, her maid of honor/best friend/foster sister, and a friend of mine to the Bridal Show. It was our first. Fun and interesting for me, fashion show was a little "meh" except for the end when one of the male models leapt off the stage to propose to his girlfriend. He was in a tux with a red waistcoat, she was in jeans and a t-shirt. I bet she's mad at him now that she's over the shock. Then we went for a sushi lunch. Yum.

Saturday afternoon headed to hospital again, and stayed til 11ish. DH had a weird reaction to the hypertension med, that none of the staff deemed was a reaction. He refused to take it after that. He doesn't normally have high blood pressure. Doesn't it seem reasonable that coming into the hospital for surgery, not eating since Thursday night, being poked and prodded and cut on, not knowing if the cancer is completely gone would all cause enough stress to raise his bp a bit? It would go right back down every time he got a decent amount of sleep or a dose of his anti-anxiety med. No food (feeding tube) for him on Sat even though they started talking about it at 9 in the morning. He's lactose intolerant. They kept wanting to give him Ensure, which he's had reaction to in the past. We'd been warning them about this issue (hospital only stocks Ensure) since the original surgical consult. Did they do anything to prep for it? NO.

Sunday: back to the hospital at 10 for another 12-hr day. Found out that the last pain med he'd requested was on Sat morning. Weird. Since the bone marrow transplant, he's been extremely pain-intolerant. Downright wimpy. So if he says he's not having pain, he's really not having pain. Everyone was very surprised because this is supposed to be a really difficult operation to recover from (for adults). This morning we can see why. He's finally able to open his mouth wide enough to look in there. Looks like something the size of a tennis ball was removed! Anyway, two more consults with the nutritionist finally produced one can of lactose-free protein drink for the feeding tube. It went fine. Then an observant night nurse came up with a cooled cup of coffee to dissolve his daily meds in, and administered that through the tube. Goodbye, headache!

Monday: Took the girl to work, retrieved my laptop from the office - I have to reload a bunch of stuff to get it back to where I like it, lunch, and back to hospital at 12. Where they informed me we could leave "in about an hour." Wow! Way to go on the healing, DH! Except at 4:00 the pharmacy still hadn't figured out how to fill the special liquid version of his immunosuppressant. So we came home and he skipped a dose. He's actually mostly taking care of himself, just asking for minimal support ("can you hand me that blanket?" etc). It's the most independent he's ever been after a hospital stay, so I'm encouraged. I finally went to bed at a reasonable time.

Today - gotta take the girl to work in a few - we still don't know when she'll get her car back from the shop.

Current Mood: hopeful
Current Location: still earth

Happy New Year! 2012, you could have been better, but you could have been much worse. I'm not overly sad to see you go.

My review of DW shows 46 posts, with 3 of those being marked private and abandoned incomplete.
My least posted month was April (1) and most was September (7). December had 6, two months had 5 (half the posts in 5 mos) and the rest had 3-4 ea.

My resolutions were:
post more RL in both LJ and DW. I accomplished this for DW, but LJ is largely abandoned except to read a few people.

do something active everyday - *facepalms* forever. This didn't even come close to happening - if anything, it got worse. No dance classes (partner wasn't up to it), no yoga class - no particular reason. However, this holiday season doesn't seem to have been as fattening as last year... I weigh (barely) less now than a year ago.

go canoeing - Yay! had a wonderful Labor Day weekend camping with friends that included 3 days of canoeing.

get better at finishing projects at work - well, I closed 3 completely, and am trying to get 2 more closed, so I did OK. But I could totally do better at work. I've been largely unmotivated, and I can't tell if it's just the SADD or if it's because I'm working from home (distractions), or if it's the lack of field work/lack of connection with co-workers creating my apathy.

get my finances in order - started out OK, got escrow and taxes sorted, worked on a charitable giving plan, but a series of unfortunate events beginning in June depleted all cash reserves by August. le sigh. Spent the fall attempting to recover, thought the small work bonus was going to resolve that for me, and now both the old cars need a lot of work, which means bye-bye cash. Plus, we bought a new car in Dec, so now we have a payment instead of money to funnel into a reserve fund. The best I can say is I had done a good job the first 6 mos, so that I was able to weather the summer events.

Fannishly, the year included new reading in Grimm, Teen Wolf, Avengers, Lewis, My Chemical Romance, Generation Kill, Sherlock (BBC), plus all the old faves. New watching included Teen Wolf, all the Avengers movies, GK, Sherlock, Farscape (needs it's own post), Weeds, and White Collar. Also, I hosted a fangirl meetup! It was my first face to face with all but 3 of the people who attended!

DH dragged me to several newgrass/bluegrass events which were enjoyable, but it's really not my genre. I dove into Cuban cuisine while in Florida. A road trip through S. Dakota and N. Dakota with a stop in the middle for my sister's (2nd) wedding was actually fun - who knew Mt Rushmore and the Badlands would be so inspiring?

For 2013? Survive January (DH's surgery), make car payments on time, DH's family reunion in July (at Opryland of all places). Hopefully there won't be a wedding yet since the finances aren't there to support it, try to be physically active - yoga, walks, Wii at the very least. And go to bookclub once or twice before Wiscon. I may bow out of Wiscon because it's DH's birthday weekend (60) and there's going to be some kind of event. Build up a little cash reserve, don't incur anymore debt. Be more engaged in fandom and work. I'm aiming pretty low here, surely I can accomplish some of these.

Current Mood: pensive
Current Location: still earth

Yesterday we were informed the results of the PET scan show DH's latest scare is totally confined to his left tonsil. He'd already been scheduled for it's removal on Jan. 18, so they're probably going to keep that date unless they can get him in earlier. While they're removing it, they'll decide whether or not he needs any radiation to finish it off. But it's supposedly pretty easy to eradicate when it's this type of cancer, and this specifically located. It was a huge relief to get this news. I'm almost as shell-shocked as I was two weeks ago when they told us it was there. DH is hugely relieved because he was afraid his vocal chords would be involved, and that did not bode well for his "newgrass"/bluegrass musical hobby.

I need to schedule a Dr appointment to be checked out though, because this is related to HPV. So technically, it's a cancer that's also an STD. sheesh.

ION, we bought a new car on Thursday. It's a Kia Forte (5-door) with a moon roof. It's only the 2nd car I've ever purchased brand new, and I've never had one with a moon roof before either. She's "super-cute" according to the girl, and promises to get really good gas mileage, probably twice as many mpgs as either of our 2 decrepit vehicles which both need serious repairs before the kids can comfortably take them over for their daily commutes. With 4 drivers in the house, and the looming medical gauntlet, we felt we needed more than 2 vehicles. At some point we'll get back on track to trade one of these in for another Subaru, but now it looks like 2-3 yrs instead of less than 2. It's been a long time since we've had a car payment, so this will be interesting. At least the maintenance is included for the first 50K miles.

Current Mood: relieved
Current Location: still earth

Folks, most anyone who knows me, here or (really well) in RL, knows this is my bullet-proof kink. It doesn't matter what pairing or fandom, onscreen or in print. And this is an extremely well-executed example.
( Teen Wolf Art by sin-repent )thanks to

jerakeen for the link <3
Teen Wolf is my newest dirty-little-secret fandom

ION, the snowpocalypse is upon us, and most of our fair city is closed. Today I will cook things and wrap things, and kick myself for not getting the one book I really wanted listed on my Amazon Wish List for DH to order. (Captain Vorpatril's Alliance by Lois McMaster Bujold)

Current Mood: mellow
Current Location: still earth

The Birthday Party was a great success! We Birthday girls had a lot of fun, and were delighted so many people turned up in assorted finery to celebrate with us. Local friends and Wiscon attendees will recognize the venue (Concourse Hotel, 6th floor party room used for Wiscon's Con Suite), and it was really a great place to have a party. The Concourse let us bring in everything, they just provided the room and the furnishings. We got to check in at 2, and we'd finished decorating and setting up in plenty of time to go around the corner for dinner the Capitol Tap House before people arrived.
( This is us )

About midway through, our DHs brought us up front for a rousing rendition of Happy Birthday, followed immediately by the surprise they had collaborated on. OMG, you guys! They got us a male stripper!!!! O.O He was so ridiculous - he was supposed to dance for us, but was stripped down to his thong in about 40 secs. Then there was some posing. ( Then there was my lap dance (NSFWish) )

So, it turned out this was only the guy's 3rd time, and it really showed. DH reported he needed a drink to get up the nerve to get started, and he had forgotten his music, so he had to make do with ours. He went back and forth from being careful and respectful (in the pic, he's looking into my face and telling me what's going to happen next, and he's not actually touching anything of mine except my wrists, which were loosely held above my head) to being kind of grabby and aggressive about certain other poses. When he went around the room to dance for other women, the first few reported he didn't get in their laps until given the go ahead, but later women said he just basically charged them, and a few actually jumped up and left the area. :( No one left as a result, but he could have been much more sensitive to people's reactions. By the time his stint was up, my twin had recovered enough for friendly, standing farewell pics. So far, I've not received any others of me, but he did have me up in the air (bridal carry style) and stretched out on another sofa, both of which were less successful than the start.

Anyway - also in the timeframe of the picture, I started giggling because I realized the music had switched from Journey's "Any Way You Want It" (moderately appropriate for the application) to Kris Allen's "Alright with Me" LOLZ! My sweet, happy, boppy song is now forever associated with my one and only lap dance!! I was snickering so hard, I think that's why "Ken" decided to get off my lap and try his luck with my birthday twin. She was much less amused than I was, and I felt bad for her and her hub afterward (it was his idea), but my DH had tried to warn him. I'm constitutionally difficult to offend, so even if I wasn't into it (and I wasn't other than the amusement factor) DH knew I'd be okay. In fact, the last thing he tried with me was a "ride" on the sofa, and he was crouched above me, much further away than the previous attempt. I guess he was trying to talk dirty (which normally is a big Yes for me), but he said, "so, is this getting you all wet?" and it was SO RIDICULOUS (okay yes, maybe an exhibitionist would have been turned on, but I'm not and I wasn't), so when I opened my mouth, what came out was a smart-assed, "Honey, that's a permanent condition for me" in my best southern belle drawl. He huffed a laugh and gave up finally. I was pretty smug that I'd gotten to him until I found out how inexperienced he is.

We extended the party by going to a Packer party at a friend's on Sunday, and everyone there had been at the bday bash, so there was a lot of rehashing of the stripper incident. DH determined in the end that all the stories of the stripper were better than the actually strip show. My twin's hub told her "at least you can cross that off your bucket list." The look she gave him! Seriously, how he ever got the idea this was on her bucket list is beyond me.

Current Mood: amused
Current Location: still earth

Sorry to interrupt the usual schedule of squee, but I just have to say this.

I've had my share of this point being reinforced (sometimes brutally) over the past 6 years. I'm over it, and so are my friends and my DH. Cancer can just go fuck off this planet, right the hell now.

If only the universe worked this way - we could all just agree to tell cancer to fuck off, and it would. I'd like that an awful lot. Because then we could get rid of a lot of other things too. And you know what, I actually believe that it could work this way. Maybe not for cancer, but for war and violence and hate in all its forms - if we all agreed at the same time to end them? That would be that. Call me a dreamer, but maybe some day we'll grow up enough to make it so.

Today is not that day. Today is the day of my big, fancy birthday party, being co-hosted with a girlfriend who is the same age (we're 6 days apart). We've been looking forward to it for a whole year. We have compatible outfits - kinda like back in high school when you were going on a double date and you asked your BFF if she was going to wear her baggy jeans and hawaiian shirt too... I'll post pics. We got tiaras especially for the occasion. And helium balloons. It will be fun.

But today is also the day that the ENT called the house at 8 am to deliver the biopsy report to DH. That infected tonsil he's been battling for the past couple months - well, that's some type of throat cancer. We won't know if it's the easier type or the aggressive type until after the next rounds of testing, which are being scheduled asap. So, yeah. That happened. After 6 years of bone marrow transplant recovery, I'm pretty pissed off about this development.

And today is the day of my cousin's wedding - which I'm not able to attend, it being in Boise, and scheduled for the same day as my party. I hate missing the big family events, but that's what happens when you decide to live in a city so far away from anyone you're related to. My sister is there so that's something.

And today is the day after Newtown, CT. My daughter teaches in a daycare. She came home really upset, and I bet she stays that way for awhile. I had to hold her and hug her for a long time. And I also have to say, I love my President. That he felt this loss as acutely as the rest of us was evident. That he wasn't ashamed to show how he felt was priceless.

Today is another lesson in the interconnectedness of the universe. Some of these lessons are harder than others.

Current Mood: pissed off
Current Location: still earth

Woke up to a pretty dusting of snow on the ground. About half an hour later, the power went out. So I called in the report to the power company, and DH made a fire in the fireplace. At that point, the snow started coming down in earnest, so we were snuggled in our living room with a cosy fire and a pretty view. Good thing we'd already made the coffee and tea.

After a bit, I decided to straighten up since everything is still in disarray from the xmas decorating, which isn't quite done, and couldn't really be finished in the semi-dark. Then DH made pancakes and bacon. Just as we sat down to eat, the power was restored (maybe 90 min without? not bad at all). So he put one of our favorite CDs on (Windham Hill's Solstice I). I have to say, it doesn't really get much better than this.

On Windham Hill: We've accumulated quite a lot of their works over the years. Almost everything is acoustical, and a good bit of it is 'winter-appropriate.' When DH and I first met, we discovered we had the same favorite album - December by George Winston, produced by Windham Hill. That was the thing that really sealed the deal for us. We had felt so connected so quickly, it was kind of scary. Then he said, "I want you to hear this, it's my favorite." When I recognized the album cover (he was opening a cassette box) from across the room, I realized we were gonna be stuck together for a long time. The album was too obscure for the coincidence to be merely random, you know? Well. I knew. And 26 yrs later, a perfect winter morning.

I'm going to finish my decorating, gift wrapping (wedding present, not xmas yet!) and laundry while continuing to listen to my favorite sounds of the season.

Current Location: still earth

I'm looking for some good quotes by and/or about women for a sekrit project. See icon for example :) It's one of my faves.

I know there are a bunch of Mae West quotes out there, and I know there's a collection, something about "Uppity Women"? I'm just not feeling energetic enough to hunt them all down on my own.

Oh mighty flist, will you help?

ETA:
1, If you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it – Erma Bombeck.

2, I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. – Maya Angelou.

3, The most effective way to do it, is to do it. - Amelia Earhart.

4, If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun. - Katharine Hepburn.

5, It’s not your job to like me, it’s mine. – Byron Katie.

6, A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life, to be thankful for a good one. - Marjorie Kinnan.

7, The question isn’t who’s going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me. - Ayn Rand

8, A woman is like a tea bag – you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water. – Eleanor Roosevelt

9, Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage. – Anais Nin.

10, Life is short, wear your party pants! – Loretta LaRoche.

11, Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.

12, A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous. – Coco Chanel.

13, It’s the good girls who keep diaries, the bad girls never have the time. – Talullah Bankhead

14, Life’s a bitch. You’ve got to go out and kick ass. - Maya Angelou.

15, The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off. – Gloria Steinem.

16, Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened. ~Cora Harvey Armstrong~

17, Old age ain’t no place for sissies. ~Bette Davis~

18, If you can’t be a good example, then you’ll just have to be a horrible warning. ~Catherine~

19, Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission. ~Eleanor Roosevelt~

20, In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily. - Charles, Count Talleyrand

21, I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

22, What is better than wisdom? Woman. And what is better than a good woman? Nothing. Geoffrey Chuacer

Current Mood: mellow
Current Location: still earth

This is the fb part of the post:

‎5. I'm thankful I don't have to get up at 0400 every day to clean up dog vomit (tx Cosmo) like I had to today.

4. I'm thankful I still have my challenging and interesting job, even though we went through lay-offs and restructuring earlier this year.

3. I'm thankful for our trip to Kennedy Space Center this year, even though the Rocket Garden made me cry (or is that because?).

2. I'm thankful for the time, energy and funds to finish my 6-yr kitchen remodel, plus do a little needed re-decorating.

1. Most of all, I'm thankful for all the wonderful people in my life who love me and let me love them right back.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

And because this is my fandom happy space, you get all the thanks for helping me survive real life by giving me regular and excellent escapes when I need them, plus the laughter and tears and deep thoughts and sexy feels that go with all your wonderful stories and posts about other things you care about on a daily basis. I love my little corner of fandom with all my heart, and hope you all have a lovely day no matter where you are or what you are planning.

My Plans:
+ Watch the Macy's Parade with DH, and maybe eat some waffles with fruity salsa (if we feel ambitious enough)
+ Take advantage of unseasonably warm weather to hang our outdoor xmas lights and decorate the entrances
+ Watch football while partaking of yummy charcuterie, cheese and beer
+ Bake pumpkin pie and oyster dressing
+ Sit downwith DH and the boy (we're just 3 this year) for a dinner of Bacon-wrapped Turkey Breast with Pear Hash (a revival of last year's success), Oyster Dressing & Turkey Gravy, Famous Southern Jelled Cranberry Salad, Roasted Broccoli & Cauliflower with French-fried Onions, and Pumpkin Pie. We're still debating if we should open the Pinot Noir or the Late Harvest Riesling for dinner. (I don't know why we couldn't find Beaujolais Nouveau anywhere in this town. Buehler?).
+ Go to bed when I feel like it, and get up for a 9:00 salon appointment Friday. No shopping trips anywhere!
+ We might join friends at Old Sugar Distillery for Friday happy hour and mosey on to fish fry later
+ Saturday - rearrange some furniture in preparation for the girl's return next week
+ Sunday -the local products expo at the Arboretum, where we'll pick up Mad Urban Bees' gift packs for gifting out-of-state friends.

Current Mood: thankful
Current Location: still earth

I'm pretty pleased at this moment in time.
I knew I'd be shedding tears tonight no matter what the outcome, but I'm so much happier shedding *these* tears.
I'm delighted with how many women won their races.
The best moment of the evening was probably seeing our new congressman, Mark Pocan, kiss his husband on the dais as he accepted victory. He beat his opponent 2 to 1. Go Mark!
Unfortunately, we may still be unhappy with the way our state is being run, but I'm confident we can survive the rest of Walker's term, with our Dems in congress.
And tomorrow? The phones will be silent, and the political ads will be replaced with hucksters encouraging us to spend outrageously on xmas gifts (at least the music will be cheerful?).

Current Mood: jubilant
Current Location: still earth

How am I supposed to keep my fandom list to a manageable size when the people I love keep sucking me into new places?
Yeah, yeah, I've been reading TW for a few months, but I keep thinking it'll pass. Well, it won't when stuff like this keeps happening.

Fresh off the press: Being Found by

dira .

Mostly I'm speechless. This is so quiet and perfect and so SO good. Go! Read! Now!

Current Mood: impressed
Current Location: still earth

devildoll has burst onto the Teen Wolf scene with a sizzling hot 50 Shades AU:

You Were a Kindness When I Was a Stranger

Title: You Were a Kindness When I Was a Stranger
Summary: "It's not all handcuffs and spankings and learning to deep throat."
Fandom: Teen Wolf
Pairing: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Rating: Explicit
Words: ~8,000
Spoilers: None.
Warnings: This is an AU with consensual BDSM sex acts, in which Derek supports Stiles financially in exchange for a sexual relationship. Stiles is of legal age.
Availability: LiveJournal || Dreamwidth || AO3

The best part is she's never read 50 Shades, and she's never written BDSM, but this is still beautifully constructed, and grammatically correct, in addition to being very in character, yummy, and angsty with a happy ending. I'm guessing 50 Shades would like to be this story when it grows the fuck up.

I think I read it about 5 min after she posted, and then I went to bed mulling it over (for a big chunk of the night), then I got up and re-read it first thing yesterday morning, and mulled most of the day and into the night again, and if something takes up that much of my brain, then I'm being selfish if I don't rec it, right? Right.

No werewolves (or vampires) in evidence, just a compelling (and hot) story of boys accidentally falling in love.

Current Mood: awake
Current Location: still earth

Fan Girl Wannabe

Recent Entries

October 2013

Links

Syndicate

Most Popular Tags

Expand Cut Tags

GAH, Feminism, How Many Waves Will it Take?

Give My Regards to Wiscon

Read it to me again, my love

Fandom Appreciation - Day 7 - Counting My Blessings

Fandom Appreciation, Day 3

Memory Lane Meme

Vikings

2013 Your Performance Improvement Plan Isn't Working

Cancer Sucks (Redux)

Windfall Meme

2013, You're Fired

Wake

Internet Etiquette Question

If I Don't Post Now, I'll Miss My Window

2012 Recap

Good News

Against the Wall

That Was Ridiculous!!

Cancer Sucks

A Perfect Winter Morn

Sassy Woman Quotes

Thanksgiving Top 5 Plus

Election Relief

Insta-rec: Teen Wolf wails

Semi-insta Rec! Teen Wolf!

Profile

Page Summary

Style Credit